Monthly Archives: June 2011

Man may have used his intelligence to invent stupidity, but his body’s natural evolutionary instincts keep him alive in spite of himself. Let’s start with deep water….

My father built the fire pond after his chain saw factory burned down when the fire trucks ran out of water. But he told my mother, a wonderful swimmer, that he built it for her — because she looked like … Continue reading

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A man can only be a man. A woman can only be a woman. Yet we want each other to act transgendered. Perhaps in a few million more years of evolution….

I was speaking with an acerbic group of politically correct women the other day. And I came to quickly realize that in love and war a woman can be much more barbarian than a man. Finally I spoke up. I … Continue reading

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No matter how smart we think we are, we still spend most our day being an idiot. So, as bad as things are they are only going to get worse, unless….

In case you didn’t know this: stupid people are not, legally, supposed to be able to get married. And that’s not because we’re afraid they will reproduce a bloody genius. No, we’re afraid they’ll breed more congressmen, legislators, city council … Continue reading

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The price of frozen yogurt is just another example of the farce of supply and demand. Consider this: Two of its most important ingredients are air and water

Let me ask you something: if you had your choice for lunch of eating frozen yogurt, salad or that fetching woman in the next cubicle, what would you pick? Forget about it. No woman – especially all the exes and … Continue reading

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Often times, someone has to die so that someone else can live. But it’s something most of us don’t want to think about. Then I bumped into Mike…..

Michael Tangier is fluent in 5 languages. But the other day the usually tough-talking, street-wise merchant with a soft underbelly, could hardly articulate a word. Not in his native Spanish. Nor French. Nor English. Nor Hebrew. Nor the Arabic he … Continue reading

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Why would you punch a parking meter guy for doing his job when it is the politicians we should be punching? You know, those dim wits in City Hall and the State House who don’t know what they are doing, and do it very well.

The truck driver shoved Kenny hard in the back, severely straining the vertebrae in his neck. When Kenny turned around, the angry big guy punched Kenny right in the nose, snapping the bloody skin at the bridge. At that Kenny … Continue reading

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