My congenitally ill younger son has been on the fast track to die. And after years of battling a stormy sea too deep, being swept further away from the foggy shores of medical miracles, my wife finally stole his challenged mind and body away from me.
And I can no longer be there, to help.
So, like my younger son, I am left to expire upon the deceit of broken promises. That is, to die in pieces with every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day, of every week, of every month, of every year of a life — not unlike all our lives – where nothing is promised. Except those promises – like most promises – that are only made to be broken.
Meanwhile no matter how ineffable her treachery that penetrated deeper than bullets, life goes on. For it must. And so must I. Forever healing, seeking to see the beautiful. Which — you’d be surprised — still abounds.
Otherwise, I would become a victim, simply a passenger on a ship sailing aimlessly upon a tsunami. If you think, or are taught, that the world is only bad and ugly, then the world becomes what you think. The world is as you see it. And if you don’t know another port to seek there is no favorable wind to draw you from that dark abyss.
Which is where you not only find the likes of Adam Lanza slaughtering the lambs, in Newtown, Connecticut, but scores of more like him all over this country, this world, this planet.
He is everywhere. He is you. He is me. He is one of us. He is like all of us. We are all insane in this asylum. We are condemned by our madness and the madness of others. Too many false prophets. Too many unfulfilled warranties. Too many voice mails, solicitations, Halloween masks and our worse social disease of indifference compounded by the assurance of dogma and the arrogance of certainty.
We have lost control. We punch at the fog. We are not citizens, we are subjects. We are prisoners in a penal colony. From which there is no exit. Not even death. For there are no guarantees that our next life or next world will be any less exasperating than this one.
So we disconnect. We go postal. We shoot up an elementary school in Newtown or a high school in Columbine, or a mall in Oregon…
Near or on, or around and about the same day the 20-year-old troubled youth shot his way through Sandy Hook Elementary School, about 400 miles from Washington, someone with a knife was slashing 22 young children in China’s Wanquan Elementary School 600 miles from Beijing.
And it was said to be China’s worst such incident ‘in more than a year.’
A whole year!
About this same time children were shot and stabbed by nannies and baby sitters; In Kenya and Uganda hundreds of parents were killed and their children abducted into prostitution and boy-toy soldiers; our drones were killing a lot of women and children to get to a few bad guys in Pakistan; a car bomb doused the lives of more than 20 – mostly girls 9 to 13 years old — in a marketplace in Afghanistan; masses were slaughtered fighting to steal from Assad what he and his Alawite father have been stealing for 40 years.
Israeli families were killed by Hamas. And Palestinians, after being kicked out of Jordan and Syria and Egypt refuse to live in peace in Israel. Meanwhile, elephants and their calves are being butchered and lions are still be poisoned.
This is just a taste of the stuff that’s been killing some of G-d’s creatures great and small about the globe in recent days.
So, while our President is shedding our collective tears in Newtown there are tears to be shed everywhere. We are not talking about Rwanda or the ‘holiday island massacre’ in Finland a year or so ago, or even the more than 100 women burned to death 3 weeks ago, killed by unsafe conditions while laboring for $37 a month in the Tazreen garment factory in Bangladesh.
We’re talking about every day, in every way, that any one or two or a small army of us simply decide that this will be a good day for folks to die – by accident or intent. Perhaps even in a movie theater in Colorado or Moscow.
And that, as they say in Ethiopia, is how life has been from the day G-d created light. No doubt so we could get a clearer view of the darkness and chaos he created first. And so we can see better what we apparently have gotten too inured or myopic to see – that is until it went local, again.
This time in Newtown.
I am crying for those children as I have cried from the absence of both my younger and older sons. I am crying because I know better. I know what it is like to grow up much tougher, on a farm, with parents who aged beyond their years from the Great Depression and WWII sacrifices.
They were parents who worked hard and made their children study hard and be hard, because the world has too many hard-boiled fascist who can’t stop saluting the past.
But I lost my way. – just like my country. We all did. We got soft and fat and dumb and stupid. And the political Nazis got us goose stepping to political correctness.
Now I am saying this plain and clear: Enough! And: No more!
In my tears I have hardened my resolve: I don’t want to hear the wrong issues distracting us!
Like gun control. It is not the issue!
But first of all let me nuke this in your microwave: SHIT HAPPENS!
It happens everywhere. At any time. Any place. It could simply be a coincidence. It just could be one of those meteor showers that hit something. It could just be the man was a time bomb! There is not always a cogent rational explanation. We’re not all drugged and dispensed by Big Pharma – not yet, anyway.
What Wall Street short-sheets off ledger destroys millions of lives. What our politicians don’t do kill thousands more. Adam Lanza wasn’t any crazier or mentally shortchanged than them, or the rest of us.
We’re all crazy… Bush was crazy. Cheney was crazy! Rumsfeld was crazy! Thousands died because of their craziness Thousands more suffered. And we’re all paying for it!
So enough with this mental illness. What this SOB did was abominable! But what would we have done if we had captured him afterwards. Taken him alive?
Jail him? Try him? Deny him capital punishment? Make a lot of lawyers rich and psychiatrists over-published?
Tsk.tsk.tsk. So much collective, guilty indecision.
As I already stated: This is not the time for talk about gun control. Either we are all crazy or nobody is crazy! Either we all have guns, or no one has guns!
And I mean no one!
We live in a world of guns. This working model is often posed about the Israeli’s and the Palestinians: If the Palestinians lay down their guns there will be no more war! If the Israeli’s lay down their guns there will be no more Israel!
We live in a world of 911 planes. And armed rebels in the Congo. Of drones striking children dead like a sniper’s bullet from 2 miles away. And jihadists who want to die martyrs so they can be greeted in heaven by 72 virgins. And people who simply wanna fight a war to get away from the ennui of their lives, families and jobs.
We live in a world of Atomic and Nuclear bombs that only we – the US has ever used to kill, maim and incinerate a couple hundred thousand people that we didn’t view as people.
We live in a world that we have relinquished to our mercenaries to do our fighting for us. The Blackwaters. And the cops. That is when either of them can find the time to be honest.
When my more pusillanimous, more docile friends wonder why in heaven’s name I am not for gun control, I insist: Au contraire!
“Of course I am. Use two hands, you get much better control!”
It used to be in the renaissance world that men were trained to be men: Pugilists as well as pugnacious debaters. Musicians as well as swordsman. Soldiers of the art of war as well as of the arts and sciences.
We learned that a bloody nose looked worse than it hurt. That a man who could handle himself didn’t get manhandled. And there was far less need for those venal, vapid, vicious, vermin we call legal-liars-for-hire.
In a world of insanity where National Guard guns are turned on protesting students, where bombs blow up babies and children to avenge government actions, where everybody has or is getting nuclear weapons, where men stone their women and rape their camels, and North Korea is just fookin’ nuts…
This is not a world we can simply hide behind love and kisses. We can’t beat our swords into plowshares when Hamas hates the Jews out of existence and everyone hates the Americans.
We should be instructing our youth and students in the arts from war to ballet. Guns are a tool like a screwdriver, like a car, like a pen, like a trumpet, like a computer…
And if you learn to use your tool – with both hands! – you have better control. Especially over the dimwits and pagans whether they be outlaws or outlaw cops. One catches on quickly to first-do-no-harm when they recognize that it isn’t lawyers knocking on their door after midnight. That they could never spread enough lamb’s blood on their doorposts.
Simply put, I’ve had enough. Every time one or two doofuses do something stupid, the entire public gets punished. Look at the lines to get through the airports. Or when nothing has really happened yet – like voter ID cards.
We don’t need less rights, we need more. We don’t need more overpaid, inept protection. We need to be able to better protect ourselves. On time. In line. And not be a silhouette chalk line for Crime Scenes Investigations.
Pity is the final indignity.
When Samuel Colt designed the Colt .45 he termed it the ‘great equalizer.’ If we can’t look out for ourselves, how in the heck are we gonna look out for one another.
Like I said: I learned my lesson. I lost my way. Now I’m back. I will not go gently into the night. So put me in coach, I got it under control – with either hand.
And dats yDrewIS on DIS penal colony…