No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country, but by making the other dumb bastard die for ‘his.’ The crueler war is, the sooner it is over. We have war when at least one of the conflicting parties wants something more than it wants peace. Yet any unjust peace is better than a just war…

The question I have been both asked and posed as we embark on yet another war is what would you do to those degenerates and their supporting cast of ISIS scumbags who beheaded those journalists and barbarously executed hundreds of their kneeling fellow brothers — all brought to us on the news and youtube?

And suddenly everybody sets their primitive jaws and chews on savage hungers.

Apparently there really are no atheists in foxholes. And no peaceniks when politics get so horribly visceral. Everyone talks of vengeance, revenge, justice, slaughter, torture, nuking and downright killing.


Obviously war is not hell; hell is other people in the fever of war. And human warfare, evidently, is nothing more than an effort to make the laws of G-d and nature take sides with one party.

And I, admittedly, am little different – as I have related in previous essays concerning skirmishes in Africa and on the midnight streets of Philadelphia. War may be a defeat for humanity. But if war is the remedy that our enemies have chosen, I say give them all they want. And more than they can swallow.

That is, give ‘em hell. But, before we do, always remember that it is fatal to enter any war without the will to win it. So once you commit to enter never hesitate, never equivocate and never complicate.

For war is cruelty. There is no use trying to reform it. The crueler it is, the sooner it will be over.

My only problem is that I don’t want to create any martyrs. For the blood of the martyr is, indeed, the seed of the church. And undeniably, it is truer to say martyrs create faith more than faith creates martyrs.

Furthermore, I am seriously exasperated that much of the beauty, spirituality and love of Islam, as well as of Christianity, and Judaism, and Hindu and what-not, have already been hijacked by the stupid, intolerant death-mongers. That is those venomous fanatical nitwits who are dogmatically self-assured that G-d is only on their side.

And there is no cure for stupid.

So, I maintain, that we kill them — slowly, tortuously and inhumanely. But out of sight, so it is out of mind. Perhaps much like we killed Osama bin Laden – in his bathrobe, surrounded by his wenches. And then recycled his body with the fishes. So that when he woke up in ‘heaven,’ in so many regurgitated pieces, he not only discovered there are no virgins to massage him, but that even the rabid pit bulls and scavenging vultures didn’t want to f-k him.

Hmm… It would make the ghastly, daily liver-eating of ‘Prometheus Bound’ seem like little more than foreplay.

I’m not just saying this because of my lethal fury of empathy for my fellow journalists. I am just sick and tired of being sick and tired of those who want war more than they seek peace.

I know… I know… It’s not like America isn’t a child that doesn’t deserve, now and then, what has become linguistically fascist and politically incorrect these days – that is a good ol’-fashion ass-whooping. But all-in-all we have done more good in the world than evil. As history reveals, we came, we saw, we conquered and we left the peace and future behind… up to them-and-those to grasp that the more you sweat peace, the less you bleed war.

So if we are going to embark on this war-for-peace, my only serious admonishment is that we don’t do it half-ass. Every attempt to make ‘a situation’ easy and safe only results in humiliation and disaster. Take a look back at Carter’s drawn-out mishandling of the Iranian embassy fiasco. And then take a peek how the Russians handled their Iranian embassy crisis in one day.


For, there is no morality in war. Morality is the privilege of those judging from the distance. War is only death and destruction. In the end G-d will sort it out.

Also, it is fatal to embark on a war without the will of all it takes to win. You know, kick ass like the patient Israelis finally did to the rocket-launching Hamas. It demonstrates that war means business. And I am talking about the business of life and death – not the venal business of profit and greed.

We are supposedly waging this horrible combat so that our sons and daughters can live in peace — study philosophy, write poetry, practice architecture… and, for Americans, I think war is G-d’s way of teaching us geography.


In other words, any unjust peace is better than a just war.

For me, once again, it comes down to the wrath of a patient man.

I know we only exist in this universe because of G-d’s mercy and grace and eternal forgiveness. But I am not G-d. I may be Jewish, but I ain’t applying for the job!

After all, look what we did to the last Yid who raised his hand for fishes and loaves. And as for me, I have this thing about pain. Especially when it comes to crossing my legs because someone didn’t bring enough nails.

I mean, it’s been demonstrated time and again that men do not accept their prophets. They actually slay them. And, paradoxically at the same time, they love to worship these very same martyrs whom they have tortured to death.

Go figure…

So, of course, it doesn’t make me yearn to break through any glass ceilings for the ‘temporary’ position.

But meanwhile the world and its repetition and redundancy of stupidity has worn me down and out. As I have mentioned time and again, I’m not in favor of war — even though I do promote that the surest way to prevent war is not to fear it. For there are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them.

But we all know in the recesses of even our most primordial cerebellums that war doesn’t resolve who is right, only who is left.

And in the end you can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake. For the promises of a defeated foe are like his memory, and most of our memories – that is, shorter than our over-circumcised winkys.

A defeated foe thinks of nothing but revenge. Nothing less swims like sharks in the sea of his veins. Like Putin seeking the atavistic grandeur of his erstwhile empire.

Yet, as long as we have those who want to return to the past, I am all for sending them there – and G-d speed. For since you can’t have a rational discussion with an irrational man then shoot the motherf-ker.


As that erstwhile ‘Iron Chancellor’ of the German Empire once uttered: ‘The great questions of the day will not be settled by means of speeches and majority decisions, but by iron and blood.’

Without a doubt.

For while this may be a world where nothing matters and anything goes… The fact is, I matter. And you matter. And if you and I mind, then it damn well matters.

I guess the trouble is forever in our DNA. Man’s basic nature since the beginning of time – no matter from what pious faith you want to designate as the beginning – is that he has always been competitive, violent and territorial.

So we are fighting against our nature, for a peace we may only find in heaven.

And so be it.

The only argument from me is I don’t particularly want to die for my country. So I take some comfort in what that rough and tough General Patton barked: ‘No bastard ever won a war by dying for his country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country.’


Unfortunately war is terrible. And it’s terrible that innocent civilians have to get hurt in wars. I mean, otherwise combat would be a wonderfully healthy way to rid the human race of unneeded trash.

But then again, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.

And dats yDrewIS on dis penal colony…

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