I have a confession: I am not politically correct. Don’t even wanna be. Being PC means always having to say you are sorry. And these days people only listen to what they want to hear. So hear this: I am mad as hell and don’t wanna take it no more!

I used to date a woman a couple years back who I boldly informed from the outset: ‘If you wanna have a good time and lots of laughs, stick with me. If you wanna get serious, go back to your wife-beating ex-husband.’

And for months we were having a ball, even when she attempted to have one of those ‘serious’ where-is-our-relationship-going conversations. Then one day she sent me one of those ‘this-ain’t-working’ phone texts. It simply stipulated: “You only want to have fun. You don’t want to get serious.”

“Seriously,” I texted back. “What were the first words outta my mouth?”

I mean, besides the stipulation that I don’t beat ‘mah wimmen.’

Hmm…

A man admires a woman not for what she says, but for what she listens to. In fact, as far as any sort of social relationship — whether it be a friendship, business, impersonal or intimate alliance – ‘listening’ may be the sincerest form of flattery. I mean I listen with the intent to understand, not the intent to reply.

And so I need to ask you: What the hell are we supposedly listening to these days – especially in this inglorious, overly-politically-correct, overly-regulated, overly- outlawed and overly-unconstitutional planet where we take our comedians seriously and our politicians as a joke?

Because I don’t want to listen any more about Hillary’s e-mails.

She’s lying!

I don’t want to listen any more about the disciplinary action handed those dim-witted racist fraternity students at Oklahoma University by the OU president.

It was unconstitutional!

I don’t want to hear any more about those brazenly inept 47 U.S. Senators and that letter to Iran. I mean one of them, who nearly became President, intimated he didn’t even know what he was signing because ‘I sign a lot of letters.’

It was stoopid!

I don’t want to listen to all the stories by stupid white cops shooting black kids. And stupid black kids shooting white cops.

They’re prevaricating!

I don’t want to listen to all the belligerence and reluctant apologies by exposed and corrupt politicians and judges.

They’re equivocating!

I don’t want to listen to no more of this bullshit… And yet I do. And you wanna know why? Because, just like you, I am amazed. Fascinated. Stupefied.

As a journalist and writer I’ve always recognized that the difference between truth and fiction is that fiction has to make sense. And these days the ‘truth’ and even the ‘whole truth’ makes no more sense than stupid folks who mindlessly figure you can’t listen to AM radio in the afternoon.

Obviously these people aren’t even listening to themselves because that would actually be an affront to their intelligence.

So where is the truth I am supposed to be listening to – or even believe? I mean we all have to believe something. Even in climate change. Even in those exorbitant outrageous referral fees lawyers pay one another. Even in those kids educated and living in the West trying to flee to the East and join ISIS.

Why is it that the truth has become so difficult to hear? Why is it in this time of universal deceit that telling the truth has come to be a revolutionary act?

Will someone give me a truthful answer?!

I am listening!

And while you are at it tell me: Why am I greatly misunderstood by those politically correct idiots?!

Hmm…

Meanwhile, there are many circumstances that have provoked me to this latest apoplexy. And to be quite frank the one that got on my last nerve the other day was another story in the Philadelphia paper by an old journalist buddy. It concerned that Pennsylvania State Supreme Court Justice who had been recently given the opportunity to jump or be pushed. It involved a mess of porno e-mails he sent as well as his threat to a fellow Justice. Then, his boss, the now retired Chief Justice, called him a sociopath and gave him a choice: To resign and keep his pensions or face a trial by fire.

Now in a follow-up story a couple of months later it turns out that the judge, who departed on $200,000 a year in pension money, also added to his retirement coffer through that ‘money-money-we’re-in-duh-money’ lawyer-referral fees arrangement. Even on some cases that reportedly appeared before his state Supreme Court.

It turns out that his wife, also a lawyer, was his court administrator for the past 17 years. She was also involved in receiving hundreds of thousands of dollars (which putatively could mount up to a couple of million$) added to the couple’s bank accounts for merely ‘referring’ – no doubt inappropriately – certain cases to certain lawyers.

The issue of what was illegal, what was unethical and what was just plain common indecency will no doubt have to be sorted out sometime – if ever. But it bit me in places that were far from amorous. Not only because I have a visceral distaste for this man-judge who was a former cop. But because we all know that a judge ain’t nothing but the weakest link in our judicial system. And yet they are the most protected.

Hell, I was once married by a judge; obviously I should have asked for a jury.

What truly annoys me about this judge, as well as Hillary, the former Senator who is President of OU, and all the rest is that they have figured under some form of noblesse oblige that they are not only above the law, but the law is whatever they say it is. Because they have some sort of power or authority.

Or simply because they say so. As King Louis XIV asserted: ‘It is legal because I wish it.’

What these and so many others luxuriating in their positions of ‘strength’ seem to forget is that they are public servants. Their authority, except for a majority rule of Congress, is to reasonably enforce the law… and not to create it.

What’s worse, is that these ‘authority figures” further undermine the nation’s confidence in such officials as impartial guardians of the rule of law.

Hmm… I realize this is probably as shocking a revelation to you as the world not ending yesterday.

Perhaps it is just me. My problem. I realize that the right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously. But, seriously, the news is filled with the lies and deceits that people in authority ‘wish’ us to believe. And what am I supposed to do – stop listening!

Seriously?

I mean I thought we have two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we speak. And as I often barked to my gabby young charges on the baseball diamonds: ‘If you’re talking you ain’t listening; if you ain’t listening you ain’t learning, and if you ain’t learning there can never be any peace.’

And here again I have to ask: Is America at peace? Is the world at peace? Hell, are you and I at peace?

Lies, deceits, bad laws and poor leaders are the worst sort of tyranny. And short of a bloody revolution I just don’t know what we can do about that. Because when the dust settles how long will it be before we once again have heard too much and listen too little.

Which brings me to the thought that somehow we have all been suppressed and subordinated by our mantle of crushing political correctness that is smothering us with zero tolerance.

We can’t speak up. We can’t speak out. We can’t even have a commonly decent public debate without being shouted and shot down. Indeed, it takes courage to stand up and speak, just as it takes courage to sit down and listen. And all the while what folks seem to forget is that everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. And everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.

Hmm…

Perhaps we shouldn’t take these matters too seriously. After all, no one gets out alive. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be able to have the common sense to talk about it with common decency without the common fear of reprisals.

The trouble, as I have learned too often the hard way, is no one is as deaf as people who refuse to listen. And perhaps that has something to do with most of us possessing the attention span of a gold fish.

Hmm… I think that we’ve always possessed this attention deficit syndrome long before all this technology became a convenient blame. I mean, Einstein once professed not to be smarter than other folks, but only that he merely stuck with a problem longer than most people are willing. And I have long figured that the average attention glue of the modern human being lasts about half as long as whatever you’re trying to tell them – or no longer than 23 minutes.

Actually, I don’t know what it is, precisely.

What I do know is that for the most part I say what I mean and I mean what I say. But unlike that woman who texted me that I ‘don’t want to be serious,’ the point is I do. But if there is anything I hate more than not being taken seriously, it’s being taken too seriously by people who have long lost the ability to laugh at themselves.

And dats yDrewIS on dis penal colony…

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