Does it seem like killing our children is getting to be like ‘adult entertainment?’ But what-duh-hell-what-duh-heck hang ‘em up by the neck. That’s why I hate vegetarians – they won’t eat anything that can have children. Hmm… come to think of it, we adults ain’t nothing but outdated children…

They’re starving the children to skin and bones in Darfur. They’re burning the children in Nigeria. They’re raping the children in churches everywhere. They’re depriving the children of most everything that used to be affordable in Venezuela… Brazil… Argentina… They’re forcing the children to flee Syria…

Hmm… And meanwhile, in America… ahhh, America… where we no longer are educating our children, where we are sending too many of our children to jail, where we are killing our children in wars manufactured out of WMD lies like Iraq and the lies about the Gulf of Tonkin in Vietnam, where our children are drinking toxic water, where our bridges our collapsing in front of our children, where irresponsible parents should be shot for having children — before the cops shoot them…

Hmm…. And, like I said, meanwhile in America, a land of high tech that only our children comprehend, all we’ve got on our TVs – between election and erection advertising — is:

a Presidential election that resembles a children’s school campaign for class officer.

the first Italian U.S. Supreme Court Justice dead in bed alone without any of his nine children he admittedly erected through ‘Vatican roulette.’

Oh, and don’t let me forget: our government trying to f-k our children – again – through our iPhones…

Ahhh… what can I say besides: No shit!

So I ask you: Doesn’t it seem like killing our children has become like adult entertainment?

And, meanwhile again, what we have is everybody acting like children without their Ritalin. All hat and no horse. Out running with the bulls. Then praying they don’t get castrated when a beast gets horny… Then again in an LGBT world of Caitlyns and unisex bathrooms, who would notice?

You talk about revoltin’ developments? You talk about freedom never being more than one generation away from extermination? You talk about adults being nothing more than outdated children? As the old saying manufactured in China goes: May your children live in interesting times…

However!.. I just don’t want the silly bastards living in MAH HOUSE and running MAH COUNTRY. Never forget, I came into this world screaming and kicking and covered in someone else’s blood. And I have no aversion to going out that way.

Gee… I gotta reset my drinking time. Start before breakfast. Pray to Yahweh, Buddha, Jesus, Allah — and all duh rest of the many-headed Almighty — for everybody to get into anal sex. So we stop propagating. Only way stoopeedity may follow any remaining honest politicians into extinction.

Hmm… That’s why I don’t like vegetarians, because they won’t eat anything that can have children.

Yet, isn’t it all simply fascinating? I mean, in a world of starving and desecrated progeny our hot topics in America amount to the hackneyed surprise of how our ‘blind justice’ court system is run by politics… while our take-the-money-and-run-to-be-a-lobbyist politicians are the jokes of the only people left commanding our respect – comedians.

I am soooooo surprised.

And, ‘meanwhile,’ the folks at Apple seem to be one of the few remaining ramparts protecting our liberties from the government – when it should be the other way around.

Don’t you think?

Hey, for you people who don’t understand how unpatriotic (not to mention unconstitutional) is the Patriot Act, and how patriotic Edward Snowden saved us from Big Brother of Homeland Security… then please, for the sake of our remaining children’s future, practice necrophilia. (For those of you suffering from a public education that’s the uncontrollable urge to crack open a cold one.)

Hmm… It’s enough to make a hard-boiled misanthrope like me cry over my morning cereal… saturated with last night’s leftover pitcher of martinis.

But to be quite frank, I am a tad overwhelmed these days. Because it is difficult to have a conversation about our children without someone turning it into one of those nattering nabobs of negativism. Calling me a communist. Or a Nazi. Or, worst of all, a liberal.

But hey, people are rarely what they seem. And although I may seem just a tad anthropomorphic, I am more like a rugby player: I eat dead people.

Soooo… Now that we understand each other I would like to present a verbatim example of what I am talking about. I mean, how difficult it is to talk about things. It occurred in a recent FaceBook conversation initiated by an old journalist friend about the government. You know, the FBI trying to stick one up our ass over the iPhone backdoor controversy. Trying to force Apple and iPhone to provide them the master key to invade the privacy of all our lives.

And some castrated cowboy named Richard started shooting off his over-sized six-shooter that when it comes to terrorism the government has the right to do whatever it wants.

And I simply responded: ‘The government is a terrorist.’

From that point on our conversation made about as much sense as the FBI promising to only use the backdoor ‘master key’ this one time in the San Bernardino massacre.

Right. And I believe my mother is a virgin.

So, here it goes. All I can say is I live to amuse, abuse, afflict and comfort.

Richard: They kill Supreme Court Justices don’t they?
Drew: Not enough….
Richard: So you want more terrorism out of your government?
Drew: Killing Justices isn’t terrorism. It’s patriotism….
Richard: Aw, you are adorbz. Patriots protect the Constitution.
Drew: Shucks, partner… Which constitution you talkin’ bout? Duh living one… or duh one from the dead poets’ society…
Richard: Nothing like cold blooded murder in the name of Nu Perfekt Amerika, eh comrade?
Drew: Gee… after talking to you I now know what happens to failed abortions…
Richard: I see your true colors shining through. True colors, that’s why I loathe you. So don’t be afraid to let them show.
smile emotion
Drew: Gee… I was just getting ready to have safe sex with you…
Richard: Dead–Baby-Philes have a support group. I would get to one if I were you.
Drew: Hmmm…. Weren’t we lovers in prison?
Richard: Maybe not. What were you in for?
Drew: Sodomy… with a Baby pit bull…
Richard: Kinky.
Drew: So were you…. as I remember… Which is why I quit drinking… Because I was always waking up next to you…
Richard: Was that before you swore off Originalists?
Drew: No, I’ve always been a lesbian…
Richard: So what do you think about the idea of splitting the country up into Hot & Crispy America and Original Recipe?
Drew: I think everyone should eat pussy…

At this point a fellow name Jonathon interjected: Are you two aware of the Direct Message feature?… Not that there weren’t a couple of good lines in there.

Drew: I know…. I live to abuse and amuse…

And dats yDrewIS on dis penal colony…

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