Monthly Archives: May 2016

A recent police study found that you’re much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run. But the trouble is most of us are too fat to run. These days most everything we put into our mouths makes us fat. And what comes out of our mouths is fatuous. Indeed, what we eat in private shows in public…

I can honestly say that I have never told a woman that she is ‘fat, ugly, dumb and stupid’ – even if she was sooo fat and ugly that when she threw a boomerang it refused to come back. However, … Continue reading

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It’s no secret that all our actions have consequences. And wisdom consists of the anticipation of those consequences. So when I was told that Sister Lee lived in fear of her troubled son I suggested that the best advice we could give ‘him’ was a good scare. Then Brother Rayfield suggested something even better…

I think the first time I offered this particular not-very-veiled threat – okay, ‘poignant advice’ — was at that business meeting in Nigeria outside of Lagos. Hmm… Or, maybe it was with those engineers in Madrid… Or, then again, perhaps … Continue reading

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When you get older you don’t stop doing stupid things… you just do them slower. Actually I always thought growing older would take longer. After all, adults may be obsolete children, but you are never too old to grow younger – especially when you go to pay for a beer and a dog at a baseball game…

Between one of the baseball innings the other night, Gary, who I hadn’t seen in years and who enjoyed reminding me that he is 69, leaned across the seat vacated between us and admired out loud how I was still … Continue reading

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