Having spent many of my formative years in my grandmother’s ‘brothel’ I thought I had seen or heard just about everything a mouth could do. Obviously that was before I saw and heard the ‘doings’ from the mouths of Hillary and The Donald running for President.
And, admittedly, while I may not be able to recognize what an ‘unnatural act’ is anymore, I am beginning to feel more than a little sore from all of their venal, vile, vapid violations. Hell, I can barely walk. And sitting down without a whoopee cushion is certainly beyond the realm of painless possibilities.
As you well know – unless you’ve spent the past year on an Ether binge — we’ve finally got two candidates left. That is after the Democratic National Committee ‘burned’ its other candidate. And the Republican National Committee never saw the burning wildfire from among the 16 other trees in the forest.
Boy dat was some Par-tee! And we all got reamed.
So we’re left with: One who is a liar and a crook. And the other who is a criminal and a crook.
I leave that up to you to determine.
One is manning up. And the other is very demanding.
I also leave that up to you.
One marries im-migrants that are a “great piece of ass” after vetting them with pre-nups. And the other married a Bubba who can’t help migrating from one great piece of ass to another.
Wait! Don’t leave! I’m just getting aroused. As my dear ol’ bourbon sippin’ Pappy used to bark to his secretary: “Take notes, Loretta, I might say something important.”
Meanwhile, back at the abattoir, one ain’t got no political experience. And the other ain’t got nothing but bad political experience
Uh-oh… we’re hamburger.
One got started and restarted… and retarded on Big Daddy’s foundation of money and political influence. And the other got started and restarted… and retorted on Big Daddy’s foundation$ of political influence.
Hmm… I’m beginning to smell a trail of dingleberries here.
One doesn’t pay folks for services. And the other got paid for being of disservice.
One tweets out angry e-mails all night long. And duh other angrily deletes e-mails all day and longer nights.
One wears suits with pants. And the other wears pant suits
One has a puzzling hairdo. And the other has hairdo that gets unpuzzled from week to week.
One can’t shut their potty mouth. And duh other has to remind us that it ain’t potty coming out of dat mouth.
And one is pissing everyone off. And duh utter has been pissing on everyone.
I think you get the debacle. Deciding between these two is like trying to figure out which public toilet to use. Even if you aren’t transgendered. As my dear ol’ Pappy often guffawed between puffs on his corn cob pipe: All politicians are transgendered. One ain’t got no balls. And duh other’s wearing your balls for earrings.
Look, it’s no secret I’ve been pushing The Donald in these musings for the past 12 months. Now you’re probably wondering if I am having doubts.
Are you bloody crazy?! But of course! I have my doubts.
Hell, I am like everybody else – a nut looking for a bolt of sanity. The sumbitch is crazier than my grandmother. And she not only repeatedly told her three younger children, including my mother, that the only child she ever wanted was Robert (the oldest): “All the rest of you were mistakes.” And she would drive Robert to a brothel cross town and wait for him in the car, until he learned to ‘man up’ and not embarrass her in her own ‘place of business.’
However… and everything before ‘however’ is all bullsh-t… I can’t and won’t vote for Hillary. And, as for The Donald, as I often stated on these pages: You can never be too crazy, but you can be too sane. And we don’t have to worry about either one of those things with duh Donald.
But the point is you know what you’re getting with Trump. There is no hidden agenda. Hell, there may not be an agenda at all. And if he’s pissed off all the established Republicans then he must be doing something right.
With Hillary, however, it’s not what we don’t know about her that may hurt us, it’s what we do know.
And let me put this bogus accusation of me to rest: I ain’t no misogynist. If anything I’m a philogynist. No doubt I’m an undeclared lesbian. I don’t care if Hillary is transgendered. Or what her birth certificate declares. I ain’t voting for her because she is insidious, deceitful, greedy and an ‘acquisitive’ opportunist. And she and Bill remind me of the duplicitous couple on “House of Cards.” They definitely aren’t what they seem – as people rarely are.
Look folks – the world is never going back to the way it was. Those days are forever lost in cyberspace. Those blue collar and coal mining jobs aren’t ever coming back like they were. And if we ever straighten out our corporate tax structure, any new factories will be mostly manned by drones… and robots… and computers… and a handful of techies. There are just too many people, and too few jobs to work them in… and keep our lives affordable.
The world has changed. And, as I’ve said many times before, what folks hate most is the way things are… and change.
But we’ve got to change. And to change requires taking risks. And only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far we can go.
And The Donald is definitely a risk. He’s a cad. He can be unscrupulous. And at times he speaks with his head up his ass, especially when it comes to a woman’s right to chose. (Yes, I am pro-choice. But not recklessly.)
In other words Trump is unfiltered. But he does set the table for the conversation. And he gets us all talking out loud about what ‘political correctness’ has suppressed.
And, in case you haven’t noticed, the world has again become more than a tad dangerous. And I want somebody who can be just as dangerous. And perhaps more than a tad unpredictable.
The truth is I voted for Obama. There are a lot of things I truly love about him. And some I don’t. After all, he is merely human. But the times are a-changing. And we need a different type of quarterback in a city that creeps all night… and yawns all day. Namely Washington, D.C.
The Donald may not be absolutely the right person, but the risk of a wrong decision is preferable to the terror of indecision. And especially any irresolution concerning Hillary. Her cloudy past is clearly prologue for a dubious future.
Indeed, life is a risk. But any adventure without risk is a bloody Disneyland. And for some, the risk of The Donald may seem like jumping off the cliff and building your wings on the way down. But that’s why we have a government of checks and balances… even if it is filled with too many ‘imbalanced’ officials overdosing on lithium – as well as a supertanker of other psychotropic drugs Big Pharma stuffs in their envelopes.
But the fact is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.
And where The Donald seemingly wants to go you can’t get there by bus, or train, or truck or plane. But only by hard work — and risk. And perhaps by not quite knowing what you’re doing, because it hasn’t been done that way before. But what you’ll discover is your grit. What you’ll discover will be yourself. Ourselves. And that’s what we need to make America great again… before we really forget what made us great in the first place.
Besides what do we really have to lose more than we’ve already lost.
And dats yDrewIS on dis penal colony…