Twitter Updates
- @ashleyhalsey3rd Ash, thankx for the tweets. Really enjoyed you flu story, especially since I died and was reborn f… twitter.com/i/web/status/9… 1 year ago
- @jackielondon Wow! On my next reincarnation I wanna come back with the same teleprompter you have. Sheesh... the ol… twitter.com/i/web/status/9… 1 year ago
- @jackielondon With all that's going on in the world and you news cheerleaders are spending the whole day promoting… twitter.com/i/web/status/9… 1 year ago
- @jackielondon Sheesh... if it's vapid we all know you'll love it. For crying out loud, change your teleprompter 1 year ago
- @jackielondon I'm a tad confused: Soooo, let me ask it this way: You're getting paid to reiterate what the weather… twitter.com/i/web/status/9… 1 year ago
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Recent Posts
- I am not here to grieve Larry’s death, but to thank G-d that such a man lived. Indeed, the timing of his demise, like the ending of a story, gives a changed meaning to what preceded it. And obviously, true wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves and the world around us…
- Children begin by loving their parents; then they judge them; rarely, do they forgive them. But blame is for G-d and the small children we must keep from going insane. Leanne discovered she couldn’t have them. And I had married into insanity. Indeed, mothers may be fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own…
- Imagination was given to man to compensate for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is. We don’t lose our sense of humor because we get old. We get old because we lose our sense of humor. The problem with humor is often that people you use it on aren’t in a very good mood. And Joey G was cute when he was being humorless…
- Just as there are doctors who help people who have done bad things, there are lawyers who defend bad people. People do not win fights, lawyers do. Everyone thinks defense lawyers must believe their clients are innocent, but that’s seldom true. Most of the time they are guilty as O.J… yet Trev also got his client off — mostly…
- Mother’s Day can be a torment, especially if your mother’s been dead less than a year… Men are what their mothers made them. And my mother was slightly insane. She told us baked potato skins were bad for us – so she could devour ours. Hmm… I write a mental letter to my mother every day… and apparently so does my brother…
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Author Archives: distrunk
Life is beautiful but people are crazy. It’s just the way we are. Of course I’m crazy, but that doesn’t mean I’m wrong. The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. And that’s what Louie-duh-too-sane-lawyer was trying to explain to crazy-Ian…
Louie-duh-lawyer isn’t the only one over at the Twin Cigar Shoppe who is absolutely certain that Ian is insane — even for this planet. Which is why we dub him ‘the alien.’ Apparently Ian thinks mostly when he’s squatting on … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Afghanistan, America, crazy, Crimea, devil, genius, gun, Home Security, insane, Iraq, Italian, Jews, Korea, lawyer, mental, MOAB, Philadelphia, Russia, special-ops, stupidity, Syria, Texas, Trump, Zeus
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Plans are wasted; but planning is everything. And in a troubled world where we are paying more but getting less, we are pissed. But the real problem is we are lying hypocrites. We feel entitled. We pray on Sunday morning then rage on the road driving home. And United Airlines and Wells Fargo merely did unto us what we do unto others…
I don’t know how my father learned how to be the boss in starting and running his little chainsaw factory that, at times when contracts were due, employed a hundred men and women in those post-war labor-intensive days. Perhaps it … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Assad, Banks, Big Business, boss, candy, CEO, Chicago, Christian, Congress, corporate, dividends, Easter, Gallup, Golden Rule, Great War, Jewish, Kentucky, Louisville, Main Street, MBA, Muslim, O'hare, sarin, sheep, Silver, stocks, Syria, Twitter, Uber, United Airlines, Wall Street, Washington, Wells Fargo
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Old age is like everything else — to make a success of it you’ve got to start young. The real sadness of ‘old’ age isn’t that you change so much, it’s that you change so little… Hmm… It is said that a man is as old as he feels and a woman is as old as she looks. Well, this weekend I’m gonna find out…
I received a summons to North Carolina the other week. It’s for a reunion and state awards ceremony this coming weekend at UNC in Chapel Hill involving some folks I practically started out with in journalism. Back when we were … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged age, AIDS, beer, brewery, bullet, Chapel Hill, clarinet, Curtis Music Institute, Detroit, ex-wife, IQ, journalism, mischief, North Carolina, old, Philadelphia, Richmond, Russia, symphony, transgender, UNC, viagra, Virginia, vodka, West Africa, wife, wound, youth
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News Flash: The good wolf and the evil wolf engaged in a mortal battle to the death. Day and night they ripped and tore at each other’s flesh. Hmm… This is not a fake news story. Just like Trump is President and you’re not… Soooo, guess who won?
Maybe it didn’t quite happen that way… But this is just the way I remember it. During a beer break from the storm of Trump’s denials — of any Russian connections, as well as everybody but Trump’s denial of any … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged alternate truth, America, beer, Bruce Banner, Democrat, Donald, football, green, Grumpy's, Hillary, Hulk, journalist, Keith Richards, Mark Twain, missiles, North Korea, nuclear holocaust, Philadelphia, President, putt, Republic, Republican, Russia, Shakespeare, tantrum, tattoo, Trump, Trump's healthcare plan, Twitter, vote, Wall, Washington, White House, wiretaps, wolves
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Sometimes something happens that makes you realize the human race is not as bad as it seems. Then again, drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it’s compounding a felony. Hmm… And, as my pastor espoused: ‘We may have a new President, but we’ve still got the same old G-d.’ So ‘drink’ for me – I’ll be the only Trump guy at the family Thanksgiving table…
The advertisement boomed from the radio almost as a brief respite from all the blaring news about the cries-of-duh-unfittest protesting Trump’s election… and petitioning the Electoral College not to cast their votes for him in December. The radio ad, promoting … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged 911, America, Baptist, Bermuda, Bill, bourbon, Bush, catholic, Chicago, crotch, Daly, Democrats, Dewey, Elba, electoral college, Europe, Freedom Tower, Hillary, Humpty Dumpty, Jewish, JFK, Jimmy Carter, Lincoln, Melania, Moby Dick, Niagara Falls, Obama, Reagan, San Francisco, socialism, Thanksgiving, Truman, Trump, weapons of mass destruction, World Trade towers, yuge
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We usually don’t get what we want, but what comes. And what’s-a-coming in a few days is troubling. Then again, like my venerable Louisiana cousin recently informed me: ‘Trouble is the nature of all things. We can’t help ourselves. Hell, even a fish wouldn’t get into trouble if it kept its mouth shut.’ Sooo… let’s make trouble… and vote like me… and Jerry.
There was a scream. It shattered the still, midnight air. And pierced the emptiness everywhere. The shriek boiled over like the howling of an urgent train whistle. But no police sirens followed. No neighbors flipped on their lights, or gathered … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged America, crooked, da Vinci, Dallas, Donald Trump, Edvard Munch, Freedom, Hillary Clinton, Houston, JFK, Katrina, Louisiana, misogynist, Mona Lisa, outlier, Philadelphia, Scream, sex, South, Texas, White House
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A rich friend won’t report his wife’s stolen credit cards because the thief spends less than she does… I don’t worry about someone stealing my identity because no one wants to be me… Prometheus’ stealing fire is viewed as the foundation of all of man’s technologies. And then there was this marijuana cartel who wanted me to fly for them… for a steal!
I have trouble with stealing. Even though in yesterday’s, today’s and no doubt tomorrow’s world lying, stealing and cheating are pretty much common place. And I don’t wanna talk about my last ex-wife. Sheesh. She even stole my bad ideas, … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged America, Columbia, East coast, FedEx, football, French, Hillary, Hudson, marijuana, New York, NFL, Philadelphia, Philadelphia eagles, pilots, Proudhon, South America, South Philadelphia, The Donald, Twin Smoke Shoppe, UPS, Vietnam, Wall
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