Tag Archives: America

I don’t do guilt. I definitely don’t embrace collective guilt when we should be implementing collective responsibility. Guilt is like bondage. It is a thief… it robs from your life. It doesn’t garner my sympathy, especially because ‘sympathy’ in my dictionary is located between shit and syphilis…

I have more than a wee bit of trouble with people who just refuse to listen. Like in politics, or with bad spouses. I mean, no one is as deaf as a person who will not listen. As if they … Continue reading

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Life is beautiful but people are crazy. It’s just the way we are. Of course I’m crazy, but that doesn’t mean I’m wrong. The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. And that’s what Louie-duh-too-sane-lawyer was trying to explain to crazy-Ian…

Louie-duh-lawyer isn’t the only one over at the Twin Cigar Shoppe who is absolutely certain that Ian is insane — even for this planet. Which is why we dub him ‘the alien.’ Apparently Ian thinks mostly when he’s squatting on … Continue reading

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News Flash: The good wolf and the evil wolf engaged in a mortal battle to the death. Day and night they ripped and tore at each other’s flesh. Hmm… This is not a fake news story. Just like Trump is President and you’re not… Soooo, guess who won?

Maybe it didn’t quite happen that way… But this is just the way I remember it. During a beer break from the storm of Trump’s denials — of any Russian connections, as well as everybody but Trump’s denial of any … Continue reading

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Sometimes something happens that makes you realize the human race is not as bad as it seems. Then again, drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it’s compounding a felony. Hmm… And, as my pastor espoused: ‘We may have a new President, but we’ve still got the same old G-d.’ So ‘drink’ for me – I’ll be the only Trump guy at the family Thanksgiving table…

The advertisement boomed from the radio almost as a brief respite from all the blaring news about the cries-of-duh-unfittest protesting Trump’s election… and petitioning the Electoral College not to cast their votes for him in December. The radio ad, promoting … Continue reading

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We usually don’t get what we want, but what comes. And what’s-a-coming in a few days is troubling. Then again, like my venerable Louisiana cousin recently informed me: ‘Trouble is the nature of all things. We can’t help ourselves. Hell, even a fish wouldn’t get into trouble if it kept its mouth shut.’ Sooo… let’s make trouble… and vote like me… and Jerry.

There was a scream. It shattered the still, midnight air. And pierced the emptiness everywhere. The shriek boiled over like the howling of an urgent train whistle. But no police sirens followed. No neighbors flipped on their lights, or gathered … Continue reading

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A rich friend won’t report his wife’s stolen credit cards because the thief spends less than she does… I don’t worry about someone stealing my identity because no one wants to be me… Prometheus’ stealing fire is viewed as the foundation of all of man’s technologies. And then there was this marijuana cartel who wanted me to fly for them… for a steal!

I have trouble with stealing. Even though in yesterday’s, today’s and no doubt tomorrow’s world lying, stealing and cheating are pretty much common place. And I don’t wanna talk about my last ex-wife. Sheesh. She even stole my bad ideas, … Continue reading

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If a man watches 3 football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. No one in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. And meanwhile, I am having a breakdown…

I am not absolutely certain, but I think I am having another breakdown… which I am sure doesn’t come as a surprise to any of my exes. Undoubtedly, they figure I broke down years back – especially after I tied … Continue reading

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I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence and insanity to anyone, but it sure works for me. And with this Presidential election the risk of a wrong decision is preferable to the terror of indecision. I have my serious doubts about The Donald. But I seriously doubt I could ever vote for Hillary…

Having spent many of my formative years in my grandmother’s ‘brothel’ I thought I had seen or heard just about everything a mouth could do. Obviously that was before I saw and heard the ‘doings’ from the mouths of Hillary … Continue reading

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I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy. And the big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for $$$ usually costs a lot less. And there I was, under the boardwalk… not exactly falling in love…

Some things definitely get lost in translation. Especially when it comes to matters of politics, religion… and, of course, sex — at least when it comes to sex with a partner I don’t have to inflate. In case you missed … Continue reading

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It is a tragedy of the world that no one knows what he doesn’t know – for the less a man knows, the more sure he is that he knows everything. Too bad we didn’t get to know what Harambe knew. Perhaps it was that he’d rather die a meaningful death than live a meaningless life. For the tragedy of life is what dies inside a man or beast while he lives…

Perhaps because I live alone I find it harder to find someone to blame. Except the weather. But there’s nothing I can do about the weather. Just as there is nothing I can do about all those folks from Florida … Continue reading

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