Tag Archives: Australia

Children begin by loving their parents; then they judge them; rarely, do they forgive them. But blame is for G-d and the small children we must keep from going insane. Leanne discovered she couldn’t have them. And I had married into insanity. Indeed, mothers may be fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own…

With just a tad of a snide edge in her Australian accent she wondered about my butterfly pins, as in “What’s up with them?” At the same time her long fingers lightly examined the broach arrangement of the colorful flying … Continue reading

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I don’t do guilt. I definitely don’t embrace collective guilt when we should be implementing collective responsibility. Guilt is like bondage. It is a thief… it robs from your life. It doesn’t garner my sympathy, especially because ‘sympathy’ in my dictionary is located between shit and syphilis…

I have more than a wee bit of trouble with people who just refuse to listen. Like in politics, or with bad spouses. I mean, no one is as deaf as a person who will not listen. As if they … Continue reading

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If a man watches 3 football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. No one in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. And meanwhile, I am having a breakdown…

I am not absolutely certain, but I think I am having another breakdown… which I am sure doesn’t come as a surprise to any of my exes. Undoubtedly, they figure I broke down years back – especially after I tied … Continue reading

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A question that sometimes drives me hazy: Am I or are the others crazy? No doubt exists that we are all crazy; it’s only a question of degree. However, if you’re going to be crazy, you have to get paid for it or else you’re going to be locked up… And then there was Robin Williams…

I was misdiagnosed. But I don’t really blame the psychiatrist. He was a victim of Stephanie. Just as I was. She didn’t so much convince him I was crazy. Just as she didn’t convince me. We both just surrendered. And … Continue reading

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Why is it always easier to fix the blame rather than the problem? Like with the Doctor, the Nurse and the pending doom of December 21st… Sometimes stuff just happens… Is there anything you can do about the weather?…

I guess I have to blame my long dead bourbon sippin’ pappy for that great sex life I can only remember. Between those omnipotent puffs on his omniscient corn cob pipe he both excoriated and exhorted me. He growled that … Continue reading

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Tis the season to confuse sports, sex and the savage desire that our boys from Saskatchewan, Venezuela and our asphalt jungles kill your bums from Russia, Puerto Rico and your asphalt jungles…

At this season of the year, when everything has bloomed, only to be doomed to choke, turn colors and eventually drop dead like a leaf in autumn, the sweaty rosary beads of hope spring from our homes and taverns and … Continue reading

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Tipping makes no sense: Why do we tip Pierre $20 for bringing a $100 steak at night, but only tip Gertrude $2 for delivering a $10 plate of eggs in the morning? They’re performing the same services, aren’t they?

I never really mind bad service in a restaurant. It makes me feel much better about not leaving a tip. I know I am standing in a long viral line to spew some angst here, but I do have issues … Continue reading

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