Tag Archives: Baptist

Sometimes something happens that makes you realize the human race is not as bad as it seems. Then again, drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it’s compounding a felony. Hmm… And, as my pastor espoused: ‘We may have a new President, but we’ve still got the same old G-d.’ So ‘drink’ for me – I’ll be the only Trump guy at the family Thanksgiving table…

Posted on November 15, 2016 by distrunk

The advertisement boomed from the radio almost as a brief respite from all the blaring news about the cries-of-duh-unfittest protesting Trump’s election… and petitioning the Electoral College not to cast their votes for him in December. The radio ad, promoting … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged 911, America, Baptist, Bermuda, Bill, bourbon, Bush, catholic, Chicago, crotch, Daly, Democrats, Dewey, Elba, electoral college, Europe, Freedom Tower, Hillary, Humpty Dumpty, Jewish, JFK, Jimmy Carter, Lincoln, Melania, Moby Dick, Niagara Falls, Obama, Reagan, San Francisco, socialism, Thanksgiving, Truman, Trump, weapons of mass destruction, World Trade towers, yuge | Leave a comment

My New Year’s resolution was to tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time. Actually I don’t make resolutions except to annoy more people… more. Besides, I just hate Hallmark holiday greetings. I prefer to simply ask folks if they are still having sex…

Posted on January 27, 2016 by distrunk

The other day my old friend Dudley, whom I haven’t talked to in a quite a few years of fallow fields, called from North Carolina. And somewhere in the ceremonial catch-up conversation he wished me a Happy New Year. I … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Babylonians, Baptist, Christmas, Eve, evil, Hallmark, holiday, Illinois, January, Jimmy Hoffa, New Year, North Carolina, Pine Barrens, Romans, Siberia | Leave a comment

America is a country where ‘In G-d we trust’… All others must pay cash. There are many Catholics, Protestants and Jews in our enormous jail gulags for murder, yet we don’t fear their religion, like we do Muslims. And I have found in my global sojourns that most people just want to live in peace under blue skies and white clouds… surrounded by family.

Posted on November 28, 2015 by distrunk

The poetic irony in the argument across the street got us all laughing. We were blowing cigar smoke at The Twin Smoke Shoppe in the once mostly Italian immigrant neighborhood of South Philadelphia. And suddenly a couple of fellows – … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged 911, America, Arab, Asian, Baptist, black, catholic, Chinese, cigar, French, German, Greeks, Iraqi, Irish, Italian, Jamaican, Japanese, Jewish, jihad, Lebanese, Mexicn, Muslim, Nazis, Palestianian, Paris, Planned Parenthood, Prostestant, refugees, Russian, Saudi Arabia, South Philadelophia, Syria, Twin Smoke Shoppe, Washington | Leave a comment

The reason I don’t own a gun is that I would use it… often. The reason liberal Sean doesn’t own a gun is because he ain’t right in the head. The reason neo-con Louie doesn’t have a gun is just too convoluted. Hmm… Most of ‘neutral’ Switzerland owns a gun or two, and they barely have any crime… No shit!…

Posted on November 4, 2015 by distrunk

We all agreed: Something has got to be done. Oy-vey-iz-mir. Trouble is we couldn’t agree on just what that something was. Sort of like Congress. We were enemies… instead of folks with merely different intellectual points of view trying to … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged American, armed forces, Baptist, Ben Carson, catholic, Congress, Custard, Diocese, guns, Hitler, Jewish, Jews, liberal, Mexican, Nazis, Philly, pope, President, South Philly, Switzerland | Leave a comment

You can’t do anything about the wind, but you can adjust your sails. Fear is the static that prevents me from hearing myself. Composure is swallowing my panic 5 minutes longer than everybody else. And then there was an explosion in the subway… and everybody went into panic mode.

Posted on July 8, 2015 by distrunk

So there I was last Sunday. Waiting, eternally as usual, for my streetcar transfer in the subway underground. Beneath Philadelphia’s City Hall. Trying to go to church to pray. Because when your week has been the hell your demons set … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged 911, America, Baptist, cigar, City Hall, cops, devil, earth, email, FaceBook, fire, firemen, fireworks, god, Hollywood, Japanese, Jewish, July 4th, Pearl Harbor, Philadelophia, pilot, SanFrancisco, smoke, subway | Leave a comment

At a cocktail party one should drink wisely but not too well, and talk well but not too wisely… Suddenly this gabby, fluffy woman started shrieking and assaulting me. She screeched that I said: ‘Take your clothes off, I listen better…’ Hmm… Could be. Sounds like me.

Posted on April 29, 2015 by distrunk

The way Cherie was vigorously shaking the chrome cocktail container mixing potent icy cosmopolitans you might have thought she made her living as a cabana server instead of a news anchor on local TV. But that was the drink de … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged backhand, Baptist, cannoli, cigar, condom, cosmopolitan, Jewish, journalist, newspaper, Philadelphia, post traumatic stress, print, psychologist, Romeo y Julieta, Sicilian, teleprompter, tennis, TV, TV news, vegan | Leave a comment

It’s better to be Jewish than gay because when you’re Jewish you don’t have to tell your mother. Racism is so stupid when there are so many more reasons to dislike people on an individual basis. Hmm… I thought racism was when you hated ‘others’ more than you are supposed to…

Posted on May 1, 2014 by distrunk

I must be a racist — even if the word racist is like ketchup these days. It can be put on practically anything. Heck, as that leggy, blonde neo-con once wrote: If only Al Sharpton were around, Lincoln would have … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Adam Silver, African, Al Sharpton, Alabama, America, anti-Semitic, Asian, Baptist, bill C, black, Charles Barkley, Chinese, Christianity, cigar, Civil rights, Donald Sterling, Dreyfus, Einstein, European, France, French, Freud, gay, Great Depression, Haiti, Howard Stern, Indian, Irish, Irving Berlin, Islam, Italian, Ivory Coast, Jamaican, Jesse Jackson, Jesus, Jew, Jewish, Judaism, Lebanese, Lenny Bruce, Lincoln, linton, Maarge Schott, Madoff, Magic Johnson, Mary, Mel Brooks, Mexican, Michael Jordan, Moby Dick, Muslims, nazi, NBA, New York City, Newsweek, NSA, Pakistani, pope, President, Puerto Rico, racism, racist, Russian, South Philadelphia, Southeast Asian, Spinoza, Steinbrenner, V.Stiviano, viagra, West Africa, West Philadelphia | Leave a comment

Tag Archives: Baptist

You can’t do anything about the wind, but you can adjust your sails. Fear is the static that prevents me from hearing myself. Composure is swallowing my panic 5 minutes longer than everybody else. And then there was an explosion in the subway… and everybody went into panic mode.

At a cocktail party one should drink wisely but not too well, and talk well but not too wisely… Suddenly this gabby, fluffy woman started shrieking and assaulting me. She screeched that I said: ‘Take your clothes off, I listen better…’ Hmm… Could be. Sounds like me.

It’s better to be Jewish than gay because when you’re Jewish you don’t have to tell your mother. Racism is so stupid when there are so many more reasons to dislike people on an individual basis. Hmm… I thought racism was when you hated ‘others’ more than you are supposed to…

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