Tag Archives: bible

It’s no secret that all our actions have consequences. And wisdom consists of the anticipation of those consequences. So when I was told that Sister Lee lived in fear of her troubled son I suggested that the best advice we could give ‘him’ was a good scare. Then Brother Rayfield suggested something even better…

I think the first time I offered this particular not-very-veiled threat – okay, ‘poignant advice’ — was at that business meeting in Nigeria outside of Lagos. Hmm… Or, maybe it was with those engineers in Madrid… Or, then again, perhaps … Continue reading

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If your neighbor has a completely different view on gay marriage, abortion or stem cell research you still are both Americans. Neither of you is necessarily more patriotic nor loves your country more than the other… Which is pretty much what my Big Momma was telling me the other day…

I was telling my Big Momma, who is my captured audience while she recuperates in a senior medical center from recently breaking yet her other hip, that I am a tad troubled by all this gay marriage. “Troubled?… Troubled?!…” My … Continue reading

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You don’t learn to walk by following the rules. And if you obey all the rules you miss all the fun. But rules exist in every culture in history. Even those governing defecation. After all what is toilet training if not the first attempt to turn a child into an acceptable member of society?

A few years back, while watching the Philadelphia Phillies in the October baseball playoffs with some old college chums, we got to conversing with a group of younger women at the bar. And it turned out they had graduated from … Continue reading

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To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stoopid, you must also be well-mannered. And in Israel, in order to be a realist you must believe in miracles. So, how many more sons must die before the Israelis and Palestinians realize nobody wants them — and that’s why they should want each other.

I have buried a younger brother. And scores of friends and relatives. A father. Numerous enemies. And lots of secrets. And undoubtedly the sad day will all-too-soon arrive to bury my fragile younger son who miraculously has reached the age … Continue reading

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Democracy is the process where we choose the person who will get the blame…like Snowden. And I blame my Big Mama for my poor sex life. All she told me is that the man goes on top and the woman goes underneath. For years a future ex-wife and I slept in bunk beds…

So, who can I blame for having so many exes? I guess I should have learned more from watching the farm animals, as well as listening to Edward Snowden. Hmm…. Anyway, blame is for G-d and small children. After all, … Continue reading

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The kid asked: How old is G-d? Some said to Google it. And I wanted to spank them black and bruised. So, listen up: Data ain’t information. Info ain’t knowledge. Knowledge ain’t understanding. Understanding ain’t wisdom… And may G-d grant me the serenity to recognize the difference…

At a party the other afternoon at a friend’s big stone house in an arriviste Philadelphia suburb, one of the impudent tykes, with an overstuffed mouth, popped an imposing question. The dour youth — undoubtedly a future Wall Street ‘perp’ … Continue reading

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To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. Which is much the same for our country and its taxes. If you understood them you’d be certifiable… Look at Congress…

I used to tell one or two of my exes that if she could make ‘me’ understand whatever she was ‘simply’ trying to tell me, then even our five-year-old would be able to understand her. At least there would be … Continue reading

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Why is it always easier to fix the blame rather than the problem? Like with the Doctor, the Nurse and the pending doom of December 21st… Sometimes stuff just happens… Is there anything you can do about the weather?…

I guess I have to blame my long dead bourbon sippin’ pappy for that great sex life I can only remember. Between those omnipotent puffs on his omniscient corn cob pipe he both excoriated and exhorted me. He growled that … Continue reading

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Unless you are a sadomasochist the Golden Rule is all there needs to be. Everything else is merely commentary. And every religious plagiarist since the beginning says so. So why do we continue to “screw for virginity?…”

Why didn’t I just keep my mouth shut? Take the money? And walk out the door? Actually, I did. But then my mental calculator recognized that something didn’t add up right? So I reworked the cerebral debate. And my conscience … Continue reading

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Over $2 billion was spent to sell us a President for the next four years. Yet Congress, corporations and Wall Street won’t even spend the time to hear that money can’t buy you love. Hell, most of those guys couldn’t even get laid in a whorehouse with a fistful of fiftys…

I had just voted. And I didn’t know whether to feel a little satisfied or a lot frightened. All I knew is that the choice had never been as difficult as it was this time. Nor as meaningless once again. … Continue reading

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