Tag Archives: bourbon

Any jackass can kick down a barn, but it takes a good carpenter to build one up. In the spring a young man’s fancy lightly turns to love… but us ‘old men’ turn to painting the house. I may not be perfect, but I am avid – about not giving a damn. After all, as I told my mammoth, cigar-puffing, Italian landlord: Look what ‘youse’ guys did to that last Jewish carpenter…

My landlord warned me. Then again, my over-sized, South Philadelphia, Italian landlord and I have a rather pedestrian relationship. That is, as long as I pay the rent, he allows me to live where I live. And enjoy breathing. Which … Continue reading

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Sometimes something happens that makes you realize the human race is not as bad as it seems. Then again, drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it’s compounding a felony. Hmm… And, as my pastor espoused: ‘We may have a new President, but we’ve still got the same old G-d.’ So ‘drink’ for me – I’ll be the only Trump guy at the family Thanksgiving table…

The advertisement boomed from the radio almost as a brief respite from all the blaring news about the cries-of-duh-unfittest protesting Trump’s election… and petitioning the Electoral College not to cast their votes for him in December. The radio ad, promoting … Continue reading

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Why do I need a prescription to get stuff that will make me healthy, but I don’t need any sort of permission for stuff that will kill me? Hmm… When religion was strong and science weak, men mistook magic for medicine; now, we mistake medicine for magic. Yet, medicine has its dark side – like death…

Unless you get lost from time to time you can never find yourself. And the other day I got ‘lost’ while biking in an unfamiliar part of the city. And I finally found myself at a Rite Aid pharmacy… with … Continue reading

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These days everybody is so terrified of being labeled a racist. Racism is like ketchup, it can be spread on practically anything. But the question is: Do folks in America have a right to be racist? Hmm… I never apologize for the truth. And the truth is that racists come in many different colors…

During a glorious day on July 4th weekend at the Atlantic City shore a large gathering of Hispanics from Puerto Rico, with ample beach to chose from, decided to plop their blankets… and chairs …and umbrellas… and coolers… and radios… … Continue reading

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I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy. And the big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for $$$ usually costs a lot less. And there I was, under the boardwalk… not exactly falling in love…

Some things definitely get lost in translation. Especially when it comes to matters of politics, religion… and, of course, sex — at least when it comes to sex with a partner I don’t have to inflate. In case you missed … Continue reading

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When you get older you don’t stop doing stupid things… you just do them slower. Actually I always thought growing older would take longer. After all, adults may be obsolete children, but you are never too old to grow younger – especially when you go to pay for a beer and a dog at a baseball game…

Between one of the baseball innings the other night, Gary, who I hadn’t seen in years and who enjoyed reminding me that he is 69, leaned across the seat vacated between us and admired out loud how I was still … Continue reading

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It’s been no secret for centuries that ‘the rich get divorced, and the poor get ethics.’ In other words, the law and opportunities aren’t the same for everybody. Indeed there is larceny in all our hearts. But some hearts steal more. And the rest of us get a lot less…

The other day at the Twin Smoke Shoppe in South Philly where I puff cigars daily, Ralph got to talking about the time years back he used the $100 ‘given’ him to get poked with a prostitute… and instead bought … Continue reading

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It’s impossible to get a conversation going these days. Everybody talks too much… and says too little. The Paris climate talks were a waste of oxygen. Everybody’s accusing The Donald of using up all the oxygen in the room. And meanwhile we have yet to deprive the ‘terrorists’ of their oxygen. It’s time to take a breather – grab your oxygen masks…

Back long before puberty and even a few years before I began dousing my breakfast coffee with bourbon I used to listen as the morning news reports interrupted the popular music playing on our small town local radio station. And … Continue reading

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When I am in a bad mood I don’t listen. And all of us have pretty serious mood swings. Fear may be the mother of morality. But evidence is accumulating that the relatively tiny doses of lithium in our ground water does improve our moods. So let’s add some more…

I was conversing with a group of psychiatrists the other day when they all got around to nodding and smiling like a bunch of fraternity pranksters. They were giddy at the idea of adding more lithium to our water reservoir … Continue reading

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Waging war is much easier than keeping the peace… And in Afghanistan, where for thousands of years empires went to die, no one understood their past, nor listened to what they wanted for future peace… Or so I was told by a young vet about to be committed to the war of marriage…

At first they seemed like just three ordinary young guys when they ambled into the Twin Smoke Shoppe in South Philadelphia the other night. Then again most people seem run-of-the-mill at first. Their haircuts were cropped neat and tidy — … Continue reading

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