Tag Archives: Brazil

If a man watches 3 football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. No one in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. And meanwhile, I am having a breakdown…

I am not absolutely certain, but I think I am having another breakdown… which I am sure doesn’t come as a surprise to any of my exes. Undoubtedly, they figure I broke down years back – especially after I tied … Continue reading

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We all love a great party. But afterwards we are still stuck with cleaning up the mess. Just like the GOP and Democrats, and now the Olympics, have been throwing us some grand par-tees! But tomorrow we’re still stuck with yesterday’s mess. Think about that when you cast your ballots in November…

When I was a columnist in North Carolina every New Year’s Eve I would throw a par-tee! My house and back yard became known far and wide for this and a spring bash. Sex, drugs and rock and roll. Food, … Continue reading

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An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises. And promises are like crying babies in a theater: They should be carried out at once. For today is the tomorrow we weren’t promised yesterday. And if you don’t perform and vote I promise to whup you…

I don’t ever recall my dear ol’ bourbon sippin’ Pappy telling me, just before he issued one of his many belt ‘whuppings,’ that ‘this is going to hurt me a whole lot worse than it’s going to hurt you.’ Uh-uh. … Continue reading

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Does it seem like killing our children is getting to be like ‘adult entertainment?’ But what-duh-hell-what-duh-heck hang ‘em up by the neck. That’s why I hate vegetarians – they won’t eat anything that can have children. Hmm… come to think of it, we adults ain’t nothing but outdated children…

They’re starving the children to skin and bones in Darfur. They’re burning the children in Nigeria. They’re raping the children in churches everywhere. They’re depriving the children of most everything that used to be affordable in Venezuela… Brazil… Argentina… They’re … Continue reading

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Seduction is often difficult to distinguish from rape. In seduction, the rapist often bothers to buy a bottle of wine. Which, of course, I swig rapaciously. Just as I readily proffer myself to be raped by any female cabal. And then last weekend I laid back to enjoy the art of seduction. Indeed, a Kodak moment…

While the world was perched on the upcoming Syrian Armageddon last Sunday I was being seduced by an ex crack addict… who also happens to be bisexual. Is this so unusual? It’s one of my typical love stories. Or atypical.  … Continue reading

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It seems like most everyone, everywhere is lying these days. They only tell the truth when there is more profit in it. But if you throw the crap back in their face they learn there are consequences. Everyone, that is, except my ex-Stephanie…

The death notice in a local Ohio newspaper included a simple last request by the deceased, Scott Entsminger. The avid Cleveland Browns fan, sought that his beloved NFL team provide six pall bearers to carry him to his grave — … Continue reading

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Everywhere except America they are storming the Bastille. Or charging like the Light Brigade into City Halls. What is it going to take to get our obese butts off the Barcaloungers parked in front of 900 channels to nowhere? For me, it was a trip to the supermarket…

I can’t even go to my local supermarket without getting totally exasperated. About most everything. Maybe I need anger management. You think? I mean that’s what my last future-ex-wife contended in court. But soon the judge and Assistant DA had … Continue reading

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