Tag Archives: cash

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face. Men are only born ignorant, but work overtime on staying stupid. We seem to forget that a woman may born you… love you… and mourn you… But a woman is a sometime thing. And sometime between that woman and dawn, I lost my memory… and my bike…

Whenever someone tells me to do something – even have a nice day – I often respond: ‘Hmm… I’ve been married. I know how to follow orders.’ But not very well, apparently, since from time to time I’ve been in … Continue reading

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A ‘real patriot’ is the idiot who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. The trouble is that doofus doesn’t pay his fines out-of-pocket, but out of a corporate kitty. Meanwhile, for guys like Frankie the system issues a warrant for his arrest… for a 21-year-old parking ticket!

When I first moved to Philadelphia from North Carolina years back to take a coveted position with a newspaper that no longer exists, my biggest adjustment to big city life was parking tickets. With the first one I actually thought … Continue reading

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I can’t help myself: I am cursing. I am stoned. I am armed. And I am heading off to Washington. And no one can stop me because I am perfectly legal

What I want to obtain from my doctor is a written medical opinion which stipulates I have been diagnosed with Tourette’s Syndrome. Therefore, under the American Disability Act, I simply can’t help myself  — for cursing. At everything. At anytime. … Continue reading

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