Tag Archives: China

Does it seem like killing our children is getting to be like ‘adult entertainment?’ But what-duh-hell-what-duh-heck hang ‘em up by the neck. That’s why I hate vegetarians – they won’t eat anything that can have children. Hmm… come to think of it, we adults ain’t nothing but outdated children…

They’re starving the children to skin and bones in Darfur. They’re burning the children in Nigeria. They’re raping the children in churches everywhere. They’re depriving the children of most everything that used to be affordable in Venezuela… Brazil… Argentina… They’re … Continue reading

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A ‘real patriot’ is the idiot who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. The trouble is that doofus doesn’t pay his fines out-of-pocket, but out of a corporate kitty. Meanwhile, for guys like Frankie the system issues a warrant for his arrest… for a 21-year-old parking ticket!

When I first moved to Philadelphia from North Carolina years back to take a coveted position with a newspaper that no longer exists, my biggest adjustment to big city life was parking tickets. With the first one I actually thought … Continue reading

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If you’re in the front row of the parade and you stop walking, pretty soon you’re back in the tuba section. But if you want to keep leading the parade you’ve got to keep striving, being extraordinary… And that’s another reason we shouldn’t be having a parade for a Little League team that finished 3rd…

I may be wrong here, but the way I understand it you don’t get a gold medal for beating ‘somebody’ — you get a gold medal for beating ‘everybody’. Surprise… surprise… Once, way back in high school, I got a … Continue reading

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There’s a time and place for everything. Love has its place, as does hate. So does peace, as does war. And mercy vies with cruelty and revenge. What I am saying is that it’s far easier to forgive an enemy after you’ve put him in his place. Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. So let’s bomb Syria!

Let’s all – as in A-L-L — us Jews and Christians and Muslims and Buddhists and Hindus… and all the rest of us fellow pious hypocrites and atheists get something ramrod straighter than we would — even on Viagra: Yes, … Continue reading

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Everywhere except America they are storming the Bastille. Or charging like the Light Brigade into City Halls. What is it going to take to get our obese butts off the Barcaloungers parked in front of 900 channels to nowhere? For me, it was a trip to the supermarket…

I can’t even go to my local supermarket without getting totally exasperated. About most everything. Maybe I need anger management. You think? I mean that’s what my last future-ex-wife contended in court. But soon the judge and Assistant DA had … Continue reading

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A man can fail many times, but he isn’t a failure until he begins to blame somebody else. When people are lame they love to blame. Then again, I envy people who drink too heavily and overdo drugs; at least they know what to blame everything on…

As my dear ol’ bourbon sippin’ Pappy used to exhale between those omnipotent puffs on his omniscient corn cob pipe: Blaming others is like a rockin’ chair – It don’t get you nowhere. But it sure gives you something to … Continue reading

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Unless you are a sadomasochist the Golden Rule is all there needs to be. Everything else is merely commentary. And every religious plagiarist since the beginning says so. So why do we continue to “screw for virginity?…”

Why didn’t I just keep my mouth shut? Take the money? And walk out the door? Actually, I did. But then my mental calculator recognized that something didn’t add up right? So I reworked the cerebral debate. And my conscience … Continue reading

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