Tag Archives: Chinese

We all love a great party. But afterwards we are still stuck with cleaning up the mess. Just like the GOP and Democrats, and now the Olympics, have been throwing us some grand par-tees! But tomorrow we’re still stuck with yesterday’s mess. Think about that when you cast your ballots in November…

When I was a columnist in North Carolina every New Year’s Eve I would throw a par-tee! My house and back yard became known far and wide for this and a spring bash. Sex, drugs and rock and roll. Food, … Continue reading

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America is a country where ‘In G-d we trust’… All others must pay cash. There are many Catholics, Protestants and Jews in our enormous jail gulags for murder, yet we don’t fear their religion, like we do Muslims. And I have found in my global sojourns that most people just want to live in peace under blue skies and white clouds… surrounded by family.

The poetic irony in the argument across the street got us all laughing. We were blowing cigar smoke at The Twin Smoke Shoppe in the once mostly Italian immigrant neighborhood of South Philadelphia. And suddenly a couple of fellows – … Continue reading

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Being on steroids makes you manic. Being in bed too long makes me horny. And I’ve been in bed on steroids for 10 days. So I am bloody nuclear! And here is what I figured out to do to save ourselves… and America: Maybe I ought to run for President — like just about everybody else. So pray for me…

Back a few too many decades ago when I was about four, I lay dying in a hospital bed in a small mill town. For weeks. The docs had absolutely no idea what was wrong. Nevertheless, they did what they … Continue reading

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You don’t learn to walk by following the rules. And if you obey all the rules you miss all the fun. But rules exist in every culture in history. Even those governing defecation. After all what is toilet training if not the first attempt to turn a child into an acceptable member of society?

A few years back, while watching the Philadelphia Phillies in the October baseball playoffs with some old college chums, we got to conversing with a group of younger women at the bar. And it turned out they had graduated from … Continue reading

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When I run into a closed-minded dimwit I think: There’s one more argument for birth control. The best argument against democracy is a 5-minute talk with the average voter. The aim of an argument isn’t victory, but progress. And then there’s my argument with Gene, as well as the Redskins…

He wouldn’t stop. And I — the target of his sophomoric, disparaging, ‘anti-semantic’ spew — wasn’t the only one in the cigar shop more than a tad ‘not-amused’. After a couple of months a couple of others who were finally … Continue reading

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It’s better to be Jewish than gay because when you’re Jewish you don’t have to tell your mother. Racism is so stupid when there are so many more reasons to dislike people on an individual basis. Hmm… I thought racism was when you hated ‘others’ more than you are supposed to…

I must be a racist — even if the word racist is like ketchup these days. It can be put on practically anything. Heck, as that leggy, blonde neo-con once wrote: If only Al Sharpton were around, Lincoln would have … Continue reading

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In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing. The next best thing is the wrong thing. And the worst thing you can do is nothing… Unfortunately, there are no original ideas, only original people…

Years back, while out riding a horse on a cattle ranch about the size of Rhode Island, my trusty steed plunged into some sort of gopher hole and snapped its leg. The sudden fall threw me hard into a temporary … Continue reading

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