Tag Archives: Christmas

My New Year’s resolution was to tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time. Actually I don’t make resolutions except to annoy more people… more. Besides, I just hate Hallmark holiday greetings. I prefer to simply ask folks if they are still having sex…

The other day my old friend Dudley, whom I haven’t talked to in a quite a few years of fallow fields, called from North Carolina. And somewhere in the ceremonial catch-up conversation he wished me a Happy New Year. I … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Half the doctors in this country graduated in the bottom half of their class. And when a man with high fever lacks mental balance these docs say he is delirious. Yet when he lacks mental balance without the fever, he is pronounced insane by those ‘smart’ doctors… Indeed, something’s making us crazy…

Maybe I wasn’t asking the right question. I mean, I called the drug store in deep throaty despair and asked the pharmacist to prepare some antibiotics for me. I was dying. Okay, so we’re all dying. But my death was … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

If G-d were dead then nothing would be prohibited. Then you could kill all those SOBs who simply piss you off. But would you? That is, before your angry neighbor might do it first unto you. Yet, can you really afford to wait until the tide goes out to find out who’s swimming naked…

Let me ask you mano-a-mano: If you had the opportunity to kill someone – without fear of punishment or blame – who had committed a vile, heinous act upon you or a loved one — would you? Before you answer … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Next to the circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out of town any quicker than the Christmas spirit. But commercially speaking, if there wasn’t Xmas we’d have to invent it — even if we do forget its true meaning: you know, the birth of Santa

When my last ex-wife and I would celebrate Christmas – and Chanukah – I would plead with her each and every year NOT to buy more gifts for the kids than could fill a supertanker. At least keep the massive … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment