Tag Archives: condom

At a cocktail party one should drink wisely but not too well, and talk well but not too wisely… Suddenly this gabby, fluffy woman started shrieking and assaulting me. She screeched that I said: ‘Take your clothes off, I listen better…’ Hmm… Could be. Sounds like me.

The way Cherie was vigorously shaking the chrome cocktail container mixing potent icy cosmopolitans you might have thought she made her living as a cabana server instead of a news anchor on local TV. But that was the drink de … Continue reading

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The human race is a race of cowards. Including me. When under attack years back in W. Africa I was instructed: ‘Kill them or kill yourself. Because if captured you will suffer ingloriously.’ Hmm… Fortunately I am a poor shot. Or is my brain just too small to hit? And then there was Brittany Maynard…

There’s a long-forgotten joke about this convicted killer. He (pick your least- favorite, dim-witted ethnic) was given a choice of execution by the administering judge. He could die in the electric chair, gas chamber, by hanging… or, by being injected … Continue reading

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I tried to commit suicide by sticking my head in the oven, but there was a cake in it. Hmm…There is something both great and terrible about suicide, euthanasia and such. But the law is ‘law-fool’ and afflicts us foolishly. The only difference between suicide and martyrdom is press coverage.

One of the times I tried suicide the rope ended up being too long. Hmm… Don’t laugh. This was a tragic miscalculation. After all, I was a math major. Another time I tried overdosing on what I thought was sleeping … Continue reading

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Promises are made to be broken…The only thing a man can both give and keep is his word. His word is his truth, his honor…his everything… The first casualty of any war is truth… After that it is all madness… Elections are war…

Folks who don’t know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign. Elections are supposedly when people find out what politicians stand for. But it is more likely when politicians find out what people … Continue reading

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