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- Children begin by loving their parents; then they judge them; rarely, do they forgive them. But blame is for G-d and the small children we must keep from going insane. Leanne discovered she couldn’t have them. And I had married into insanity. Indeed, mothers may be fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own…
- Imagination was given to man to compensate for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is. We don’t lose our sense of humor because we get old. We get old because we lose our sense of humor. The problem with humor is often that people you use it on aren’t in a very good mood. And Joey G was cute when he was being humorless…
- Just as there are doctors who help people who have done bad things, there are lawyers who defend bad people. People do not win fights, lawyers do. Everyone thinks defense lawyers must believe their clients are innocent, but that’s seldom true. Most of the time they are guilty as O.J… yet Trev also got his client off — mostly…
- Mother’s Day can be a torment, especially if your mother’s been dead less than a year… Men are what their mothers made them. And my mother was slightly insane. She told us baked potato skins were bad for us – so she could devour ours. Hmm… I write a mental letter to my mother every day… and apparently so does my brother…
- Any jackass can kick down a barn, but it takes a good carpenter to build one up. In the spring a young man’s fancy lightly turns to love… but us ‘old men’ turn to painting the house. I may not be perfect, but I am avid – about not giving a damn. After all, as I told my mammoth, cigar-puffing, Italian landlord: Look what ‘youse’ guys did to that last Jewish carpenter…
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Tag Archives: Congress
Plans are wasted; but planning is everything. And in a troubled world where we are paying more but getting less, we are pissed. But the real problem is we are lying hypocrites. We feel entitled. We pray on Sunday morning then rage on the road driving home. And United Airlines and Wells Fargo merely did unto us what we do unto others…
I don’t know how my father learned how to be the boss in starting and running his little chainsaw factory that, at times when contracts were due, employed a hundred men and women in those post-war labor-intensive days. Perhaps it … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Assad, Banks, Big Business, boss, candy, CEO, Chicago, Christian, Congress, corporate, dividends, Easter, Gallup, Golden Rule, Great War, Jewish, Kentucky, Louisville, Main Street, MBA, Muslim, O'hare, sarin, sheep, Silver, stocks, Syria, Twitter, Uber, United Airlines, Wall Street, Washington, Wells Fargo
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An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises. And promises are like crying babies in a theater: They should be carried out at once. For today is the tomorrow we weren’t promised yesterday. And if you don’t perform and vote I promise to whup you…
I don’t ever recall my dear ol’ bourbon sippin’ Pappy telling me, just before he issued one of his many belt ‘whuppings,’ that ‘this is going to hurt me a whole lot worse than it’s going to hurt you.’ Uh-uh. … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged America, Brazil, City Hall, Columbia, concussion, Congress, cynaide, football, Hillary, immigration, incumbent, Mormon, New York, Oval Office, Pennsylvania, primary, promises, Saudis, South America, State House, The Donald, transgender, Trump, vote, war on drugs
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It’s impossible to get a conversation going these days. Everybody talks too much… and says too little. The Paris climate talks were a waste of oxygen. Everybody’s accusing The Donald of using up all the oxygen in the room. And meanwhile we have yet to deprive the ‘terrorists’ of their oxygen. It’s time to take a breather – grab your oxygen masks…
Back long before puberty and even a few years before I began dousing my breakfast coffee with bourbon I used to listen as the morning news reports interrupted the popular music playing on our small town local radio station. And … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged American, American Indian, Andrew Jackson, beer, bourbon, Buddhist, California, capitalism, catholic, Congress, control, cops, democracy, Donald Trump, drugs, football, fuel, GLOCK, guns, Hindu, Hollywood, Islam, Israel, Jew, Kent State, Muslim, Ohio, oxygen, Palestinian, Paris, Rio Grande, San Bernardino, Saudi Arabia, terrorist, The Donald, Vietnam, Washington, well, whiskey, World War II
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The reason I don’t own a gun is that I would use it… often. The reason liberal Sean doesn’t own a gun is because he ain’t right in the head. The reason neo-con Louie doesn’t have a gun is just too convoluted. Hmm… Most of ‘neutral’ Switzerland owns a gun or two, and they barely have any crime… No shit!…
We all agreed: Something has got to be done. Oy-vey-iz-mir. Trouble is we couldn’t agree on just what that something was. Sort of like Congress. We were enemies… instead of folks with merely different intellectual points of view trying to … Continue reading
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Tagged American, armed forces, Baptist, Ben Carson, catholic, Congress, Custard, Diocese, guns, Hitler, Jewish, Jews, liberal, Mexican, Nazis, Philly, pope, President, South Philly, Switzerland
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There are two things people want more than sex and money — recognition and praise. That’s why everybody’s running for President. However, if you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughed, was it a joke? And that’s why I’m voting for the Donald…
During the last few days I was reading some newspaper stories that reminded me that life is pretty funny when you realize how absurd it can be. Like, about the guy from Pennsylvania seeking to have sex with a horse … Continue reading
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Tagged America, Americans, Arizona, bail, baseball, Bill Clinton, Bill Cosby, catholic, CIA, Congress, Democrats, Donald Trump, elephant, football, gay, George W. Bush, Hanoi, Hilton, hog, horse, Huffington Post, jackass, Jewish, John McCain, Laos, lawyer, lesbian, LGBT, Mexicans, New York, Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, Philadelphia Phillies, pig, politically incorrect, politician, President, racist, Ralph Nader, Republicans, Sarah Palin, Saudi, Senate, sex, stupid, Supreme Court, TV, Veteran Hospital, Veterans, Vietnam, Washitgon Nationals
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Will somebody please inform me who is in charge these days? Because I’m ready to follow Joan of Arc. At least women and children seem to accept that uncertainty is part of the taking charge process. Nobody claimed it isn’t hard to lead a cavalry charge — especially if you think you look funny on a horse.
As more than one disillusioned idealist has uttered: If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there’d be a shortage of sand. But my trouble is finding out just who is in charge … Continue reading
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Tagged Afghanistan, Agent Orange, American, Army, CIA, Colorado, Congress, congressmen, Democrat, Harvard, healthcare, Iraq, ISIS, Joan of Arc, Joint Chiefs of Staff, Lincoln, Martin Dempsey, military, Mosul, NCAA, NFL, Northwetern University, Osama bin laden, Pakistan, politically correct, post traumatic stress, President, Re;ublican, Republican, Robert O'Neill, Sahara Desert, San Francisco, SEAL Team Six, Senate Armed Services Committee, senator, Somalia, stoned, U.S., Veteran Hospital, Vietnam, White House, Yemen
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You don’t learn to walk by following the rules. And if you obey all the rules you miss all the fun. But rules exist in every culture in history. Even those governing defecation. After all what is toilet training if not the first attempt to turn a child into an acceptable member of society?
A few years back, while watching the Philadelphia Phillies in the October baseball playoffs with some old college chums, we got to conversing with a group of younger women at the bar. And it turned out they had graduated from … Continue reading
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Tagged antidepressant, Argentina, bankers, Banks, bible, cheating, Chinese, compassion, Congress, congressmen, devil, Dickinson College, federal, fines, games, Golden Rule, government, indifference, investment houses, Islam, jihadists, killing, lawyer, local, marrriage, medicinal, morality.principle, Musketeers, Philadelphia, Phillies, pills, politician, rules, Russia, same sex, society, state, U.S., Washington
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