Tag Archives: Dick

A man can fail many times, but he isn’t a failure until he begins to blame somebody else. When people are lame they love to blame. Then again, I envy people who drink too heavily and overdo drugs; at least they know what to blame everything on…

As my dear ol’ bourbon sippin’ Pappy used to exhale between those omnipotent puffs on his omniscient corn cob pipe: Blaming others is like a rockin’ chair – It don’t get you nowhere. But it sure gives you something to … Continue reading

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Giving money and power to the government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. And this one time I’d rather give it to the lawyers. Who cares if they kill themselves? It’s time to start suing the Feds, State and local…

I was reading an editorial in a Philadelphia newspaper the other day that was absolutely bodacious. If not audacious! A few short years ago this would have been considered mendacious… Hell…downright heresy! The Daily News was blatantly suggesting that we … Continue reading

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Why is it always easier to fix the blame rather than the problem? Like with the Doctor, the Nurse and the pending doom of December 21st… Sometimes stuff just happens… Is there anything you can do about the weather?…

I guess I have to blame my long dead bourbon sippin’ pappy for that great sex life I can only remember. Between those omnipotent puffs on his omniscient corn cob pipe he both excoriated and exhorted me. He growled that … Continue reading

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I move so fast that when I turn out the lights I am in bed before the room gets dark. Contrary to a popular bumper sticker: Speed don’t kill. Only stupidity… And then there was the man who fell to earth faster than the speed of sound…

A few of the times I jumped out of a perfectly good airplane I thought it would help speed me to wherever I was going in record time. And isn’t that just like America: We’re a country that doesn’t know … Continue reading

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Has anyone seen progress? We all are looking for it. But no one knows what it really tastes like. Is it considered progress if a cannibal uses a knife and fork?…

Let me ask you something: Is it considered progress if a cannibal uses a knife and fork? Well?… Perhaps, for professional courtesy, I should define the cannibal about whom I am speaking. It is someone who eats you ‘after’ you … Continue reading

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It’s not my country anymore. I want it back! And I don’t care how we do it. Like the woman who stabbed her husband 37 times, I have to admire her restraint.

I was amused when a country club once informed me – in so many words – that I couldn’t join its registry. It has always been ludicrous. Consider that Groucho Marx was once told in southern California that he and … Continue reading

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They pulled a knife on me in the late night shadows. Called me names. Demanded my money…Evil succeeds when good men do nothing. So, I did something. I pulled out my knife…

I must have been daydreaming about the marvelous classic car show I had attended earlier on that sultry last-day of July because I didn’t notice the two young men creep out of the shadows. I don’t know why these abrasive … Continue reading

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