Tag Archives: divorce

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face. Men are only born ignorant, but work overtime on staying stupid. We seem to forget that a woman may born you… love you… and mourn you… But a woman is a sometime thing. And sometime between that woman and dawn, I lost my memory… and my bike…

Whenever someone tells me to do something – even have a nice day – I often respond: ‘Hmm… I’ve been married. I know how to follow orders.’ But not very well, apparently, since from time to time I’ve been in … Continue reading

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If your neighbor has a completely different view on gay marriage, abortion or stem cell research you still are both Americans. Neither of you is necessarily more patriotic nor loves your country more than the other… Which is pretty much what my Big Momma was telling me the other day…

I was telling my Big Momma, who is my captured audience while she recuperates in a senior medical center from recently breaking yet her other hip, that I am a tad troubled by all this gay marriage. “Troubled?… Troubled?!…” My … Continue reading

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G-d couldn’t be everywhere, so he made mothers…My mother has had a great deal of trouble with me. I think she’s enjoyed it even though she barks that having me as a son makes her wish she could go back to being a virgin…

My 92-year-old Mama was earnestly informing me the other day that she never had morning sickness until after I was born. This is the very same Big Mama who regularly dismisses my simple-minded humor as insensitive, tactless and downright ludicrous. … Continue reading

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Some folks like to insist there are only steers and queers in Texas. And you don’t look like no steer. Well, no doubt from G-d’s far away aerie we all look more than a little queer — whether we are single, married or divorced…Odd as that may seem to some folks…even if you’re asexual…

As a divorced father recently wailed: Gay people should definitely be allowed to get married. Just because somebody’s gay doesn’t mean he shouldn’t suffer like the rest of us. Now that’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout! But for some reason we … Continue reading

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I can’t help myself: I am cursing. I am stoned. I am armed. And I am heading off to Washington. And no one can stop me because I am perfectly legal

What I want to obtain from my doctor is a written medical opinion which stipulates I have been diagnosed with Tourette’s Syndrome. Therefore, under the American Disability Act, I simply can’t help myself  — for cursing. At everything. At anytime. … Continue reading

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