Tag Archives: Edward Snowden

If a man watches 3 football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. No one in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. And meanwhile, I am having a breakdown…

I am not absolutely certain, but I think I am having another breakdown… which I am sure doesn’t come as a surprise to any of my exes. Undoubtedly, they figure I broke down years back – especially after I tied … Continue reading

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Does it seem like killing our children is getting to be like ‘adult entertainment?’ But what-duh-hell-what-duh-heck hang ‘em up by the neck. That’s why I hate vegetarians – they won’t eat anything that can have children. Hmm… come to think of it, we adults ain’t nothing but outdated children…

They’re starving the children to skin and bones in Darfur. They’re burning the children in Nigeria. They’re raping the children in churches everywhere. They’re depriving the children of most everything that used to be affordable in Venezuela… Brazil… Argentina… They’re … Continue reading

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Judgment usually comes from experience. And experience often comes from bad judgment. The real war is not between East and West – it is between intelligent and stoopid people. Circumstances cause us to act the way we do. Keep that in mind before stupidly pre-judging the actions of POW Bergdahl…

A law professor friend once instructed me in the chicanery of legal sophistry this way: If you have the law on your side, pound the law; if the facts are on your side pound the facts; but if neither are … Continue reading

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Democracy is the process where we choose the person who will get the blame…like Snowden. And I blame my Big Mama for my poor sex life. All she told me is that the man goes on top and the woman goes underneath. For years a future ex-wife and I slept in bunk beds…

So, who can I blame for having so many exes? I guess I should have learned more from watching the farm animals, as well as listening to Edward Snowden. Hmm…. Anyway, blame is for G-d and small children. After all, … Continue reading

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I am afraid we must make the world honest before we can honestly say to our children that honesty is the best policy… The surest way to remain poor is to be an honest man. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest…

A blind friend recently told me — only half jokingly — that he has never seen an honest man. Hmm… Come to think of it, neither have I. At least not one I could trust. And the trouble is you … Continue reading

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Everywhere except America they are storming the Bastille. Or charging like the Light Brigade into City Halls. What is it going to take to get our obese butts off the Barcaloungers parked in front of 900 channels to nowhere? For me, it was a trip to the supermarket…

I can’t even go to my local supermarket without getting totally exasperated. About most everything. Maybe I need anger management. You think? I mean that’s what my last future-ex-wife contended in court. But soon the judge and Assistant DA had … Continue reading

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A Philadelphia inspector with a conscience killed himself. Meanwhile another American with a conscience is holed-out in Hong Kong trying to keep from being killed by our government. Conscience is a much higher court than our courts of justice…

Before he shot himself through the heart last week I didn’t know of Ronald Wagenhoffer. Now, if I had done myself in like he did, undoubtedly a couple of my exes would have mused: “You mean he had a heart?!” … Continue reading

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