Tag Archives: elephant

There are two things people want more than sex and money — recognition and praise. That’s why everybody’s running for President. However, if you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughed, was it a joke? And that’s why I’m voting for the Donald…

During the last few days I was reading some newspaper stories that reminded me that life is pretty funny when you realize how absurd it can be. Like, about the guy from Pennsylvania seeking to have sex with a horse … Continue reading

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Over $2 billion was spent to sell us a President for the next four years. Yet Congress, corporations and Wall Street won’t even spend the time to hear that money can’t buy you love. Hell, most of those guys couldn’t even get laid in a whorehouse with a fistful of fiftys…

I had just voted. And I didn’t know whether to feel a little satisfied or a lot frightened. All I knew is that the choice had never been as difficult as it was this time. Nor as meaningless once again. … Continue reading

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Promises are made to be broken…The only thing a man can both give and keep is his word. His word is his truth, his honor…his everything… The first casualty of any war is truth… After that it is all madness… Elections are war…

Folks who don’t know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign. Elections are supposedly when people find out what politicians stand for. But it is more likely when politicians find out what people … Continue reading

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When authorities warn of the sinfulness of sex, the lesson to be learned is: Do not have sex with the authorities. When a doctor calls you sexist for complimenting her stiletto boots the lesson is: a man’s gotta get back to being a man.

She’s a very attractive skin doctor who dresses tastefully expensive. And when she walked into the coffee shop the other day it wasn’t her M.D. degree in dermatology that popped your eyeballs inside out. It was her four-inch-high, needle-thin stiletto … Continue reading

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They pulled a knife on me in the late night shadows. Called me names. Demanded my money…Evil succeeds when good men do nothing. So, I did something. I pulled out my knife…

I must have been daydreaming about the marvelous classic car show I had attended earlier on that sultry last-day of July because I didn’t notice the two young men creep out of the shadows. I don’t know why these abrasive … Continue reading

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Our clowns in Washington bailed out everybody. So who is going to bail us out from them? Hell, whose going to shoot them? It’s time to cut the cake so that everyone thinks he’s got the biggest piece…

Just when I got to thinking that Congress couldn’t possibly do anything dumber, it goes and dumbfounds me…totally redeeming itself. Please correct me if I am wrong – then again, don’t. I really don’t care anymore. But I thought it … Continue reading

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