Tag Archives: Eve

I don’t do guilt. I definitely don’t embrace collective guilt when we should be implementing collective responsibility. Guilt is like bondage. It is a thief… it robs from your life. It doesn’t garner my sympathy, especially because ‘sympathy’ in my dictionary is located between shit and syphilis…

I have more than a wee bit of trouble with people who just refuse to listen. Like in politics, or with bad spouses. I mean, no one is as deaf as a person who will not listen. As if they … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

My New Year’s resolution was to tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time. Actually I don’t make resolutions except to annoy more people… more. Besides, I just hate Hallmark holiday greetings. I prefer to simply ask folks if they are still having sex…

The other day my old friend Dudley, whom I haven’t talked to in a quite a few years of fallow fields, called from North Carolina. And somewhere in the ceremonial catch-up conversation he wished me a Happy New Year. I … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Thank heaven for little girls, they grow up in the most delightful ways… And now look at Mo’ne… And at the rest of us embracing the simple life… again. So Keep It Simple, Stupid!

What I love about the Little League World Series and its darling, Mo’ne, is that most of us don’t seem to notice or care that ‘she’ is black. And ain’t that just splendid. Because once again a beautiful, very young, … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Our crooks are elected by the vast majority who don’t vote. We have closed our eyes to the public corruption of our democracy. We don’t need more laws! We need less stoopid people to see that corruption is nature’s way of restoring our faith in democracy…

“You can’t blame Eve,” exhaled my dear ol’ bourbon sippin’ Pappy between one of those omnipotent puffs on his omniscient corncob pipes. “She may have made man weak between the knees. But it was G-d who made man stoopid between … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A man can fail many times, but he isn’t a failure until he begins to blame somebody else. When people are lame they love to blame. Then again, I envy people who drink too heavily and overdo drugs; at least they know what to blame everything on…

As my dear ol’ bourbon sippin’ Pappy used to exhale between those omnipotent puffs on his omniscient corn cob pipe: Blaming others is like a rockin’ chair – It don’t get you nowhere. But it sure gives you something to … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I need some advice…that is, before I ain’t even got a pot left to piss in…or can’t even afford to get naked…’THEY’ are lying to us. And this shit has got to stop…that is, before us folks really get pissed worse than an Irishman without a beer…

I need some advice… But Dear Abby is recently dead. My mother is 92-years-old.  My brother the heart-surgeon has always been seriously afflicted with judgmental hard-heartedness. My exes prefer I don’t call when they are flat on their backs — … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Until Eve came along this was a man’s world. And now women are disappointed in the man they have recreated. But at least they let us still be men when we are dancing…

The reason I like dancing so much is that it’s the one time a man still gets to be a man without hemorrhaging guilt. No matter what the bawdy belle may be avowing between her politically correct antennae ears the … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment