Tag Archives: evil

My New Year’s resolution was to tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time. Actually I don’t make resolutions except to annoy more people… more. Besides, I just hate Hallmark holiday greetings. I prefer to simply ask folks if they are still having sex…

The other day my old friend Dudley, whom I haven’t talked to in a quite a few years of fallow fields, called from North Carolina. And somewhere in the ceremonial catch-up conversation he wished me a Happy New Year. I … Continue reading

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Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what’s right. No doubt why there are no morals in politics – only expediency. But a lack of honor in government poisons us all. Which brings us to a stolen phone, a snatched donut and Louie-duh-lawyer forgetting the law is reason – free from passion.

Louie-duh-lawyer was aggravated… again. I should say: As always. Man just can’t seem to find peace and contentment. Not to mention a little happiness – even though he can quote Abraham Lincoln who exhorted: ‘You’re only as happy as you … Continue reading

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Why do we kill people who are killing people to show that killing people is wrong? Hmm…certainly, the murder of civilians for political statement did not begin with 911… I have killed – in self defense. The first time my greatest fear was not of being killed, but having to kill someone else. Then I got used to it…

A policeman-friend, who has seen way too many butchered corpses, exhaled a puff of cigar smoke through a mischievous smile as he plaintively lamented that killings in Philadelphia were down this year.  “I hope they pick up,” said the Crime … Continue reading

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Our crooks are elected by the vast majority who don’t vote. We have closed our eyes to the public corruption of our democracy. We don’t need more laws! We need less stoopid people to see that corruption is nature’s way of restoring our faith in democracy…

“You can’t blame Eve,” exhaled my dear ol’ bourbon sippin’ Pappy between one of those omnipotent puffs on his omniscient corncob pipes. “She may have made man weak between the knees. But it was G-d who made man stoopid between … Continue reading

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Nothing packs up and skips town faster than the Xmas spirit. And nothing brings people together quicker than mutual hatred. And when it comes to the Boston Marathon bomber we all are gluttons for vicious ways to diabolically punish this demon…

I used to think that movies vividly illustrating savage vengeance – such as hacking a genocidal bounty hunter‘s thumbs off; or staking a wicked desperado naked to the desert floor with molasses spread over his genitals; or nail-gunning the grinning … Continue reading

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I met this British woman with a Ph.D. in pain biology. I told her my pain moved away a couple years ago. She said it could return. That caused me pain. So I told her how the government will exploit her research. Now she’s in pain.

Recently I heard two women going on and on about how men don’t seem to know what pain really is unless they have suffered the pain of childbirth, cramps…and a bikini wax. At that I asked if either of them … Continue reading

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He slapped me for what I had written about that distressing haircut his beautiful biz partner gave me. And all I could think was: He may look like an idiot and act like an idiot, but don’t let that fool you – he really is an idiot.

Apparently, I have enemies I have never actually met. Like the other night when one of them accosted me during a karaoke night in a tavern and slapped me. And I wasn’t even singing. At first I thought it must … Continue reading

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