Tag Archives: football

There are two things people want more than sex and money — recognition and praise. That’s why everybody’s running for President. However, if you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughed, was it a joke? And that’s why I’m voting for the Donald…

During the last few days I was reading some newspaper stories that reminded me that life is pretty funny when you realize how absurd it can be. Like, about the guy from Pennsylvania seeking to have sex with a horse … Continue reading

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Getting an education is a bit like a communicable sexual disease: It makes you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you have the urge to pass it on. Education is what remains after you forget what you learned in school. Yet I retained to never wrestle with a pig: You get dirty. And besides, the pig likes it. And now we have President Obama…

A while back a friend of mine was relating how he lost his grad school fellowship at a large and prestigious university. He refused to tutor remedial reading to some of the undergraduates. Remedial reading. Something you are supposed to … Continue reading

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Judgment usually comes from experience. And experience often comes from bad judgment. The real war is not between East and West – it is between intelligent and stoopid people. Circumstances cause us to act the way we do. Keep that in mind before stupidly pre-judging the actions of POW Bergdahl…

A law professor friend once instructed me in the chicanery of legal sophistry this way: If you have the law on your side, pound the law; if the facts are on your side pound the facts; but if neither are … Continue reading

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If it is zero degrees out today and it’s suppose to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be? Hmm…There is nothing you can do about the weather – except pour a bigger drink…and realize that to Mother Nature man is little more than a gnat on an elephant’s ass…

My 93-year Big MaMa called the other night to notify me that the San Francisco area may finally get some rain after suffering emergency drought conditions for many months. I thought that was nice of her to phone in the … Continue reading

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Promises are made to be broken…The only thing a man can both give and keep is his word. His word is his truth, his honor…his everything… The first casualty of any war is truth… After that it is all madness… Elections are war…

Folks who don’t know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign. Elections are supposedly when people find out what politicians stand for. But it is more likely when politicians find out what people … Continue reading

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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 55?….Your Honor! Unfortunately that’s no joke in too many of our courtrooms. We need a better standard of lawyer to pick for our judges…

Tom Fitzpatrick most definitely isn’t Irish. Trouble is, many times people don’t believe who he says he is…or isn’t. Like a few months back he wore a big round campaign button, on one of his fashionable suit lapels. It declared: … Continue reading

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