Tag Archives: Freud

It’s better to be Jewish than gay because when you’re Jewish you don’t have to tell your mother. Racism is so stupid when there are so many more reasons to dislike people on an individual basis. Hmm… I thought racism was when you hated ‘others’ more than you are supposed to…

I must be a racist — even if the word racist is like ketchup these days. It can be put on practically anything. Heck, as that leggy, blonde neo-con once wrote: If only Al Sharpton were around, Lincoln would have … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Obviously I’m not the world’s most handsome man… I’m the world’s second most handsome man! And all I can say is that G-d must love ugly people…because he made so many of us. Fortunately I have good-looking kids…thank goodness my ex-wife cheated on me…

My recent and ongoing weekend warrior was asking me the other day why I think she and I have been hitting it off so well. That’s a euphemism for: What do you like about me? And to respond to something … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I am on my fourth dental student since July. And I still haven’t even had my teeth cleaned yet. But I have gotten blamed for the last mishap. I thank Jesus for both of us being Jewish…I mean I’m used to being blamed…

It’s not just because I am Jewish, but I am used to being blamed for most everything. I can’t even pass by a sobbing woman without feeling responsible. I mean, after all, Jewish mothers invented guilt. Like Mary, who constantly … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Next to the circus there ain’t nothing that packs up and tears out of town any quicker than the Christmas spirit. But commercially speaking, if there wasn’t Xmas we’d have to invent it — even if we do forget its true meaning: you know, the birth of Santa

When my last ex-wife and I would celebrate Christmas – and Chanukah – I would plead with her each and every year NOT to buy more gifts for the kids than could fill a supertanker. At least keep the massive … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I hate that my cruel, unfair, brutal, mean father was obviously correct about how to raise children. Afterall, look at my brother……and me

One afternoon, many full moons ago, my older brother telephoned our dear ol’ Pappy. Brian wanted to impart, to our my-way-or-the-highway father, that June, his wife, was less than nine months away from bequeathing the in-laws its first grandchild. More … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment