Tag Archives: gay

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face. Men are only born ignorant, but work overtime on staying stupid. We seem to forget that a woman may born you… love you… and mourn you… But a woman is a sometime thing. And sometime between that woman and dawn, I lost my memory… and my bike…

Whenever someone tells me to do something – even have a nice day – I often respond: ‘Hmm… I’ve been married. I know how to follow orders.’ But not very well, apparently, since from time to time I’ve been in … Continue reading

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There are two things people want more than sex and money — recognition and praise. That’s why everybody’s running for President. However, if you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughed, was it a joke? And that’s why I’m voting for the Donald…

During the last few days I was reading some newspaper stories that reminded me that life is pretty funny when you realize how absurd it can be. Like, about the guy from Pennsylvania seeking to have sex with a horse … Continue reading

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Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up… for that we’ve got Viagra. Which proves some laws are not made by nature – but by man. So why doesn’t the price of coffee and cigars ever come down?…

Hmm… Last Sunday I made a discovery: That the price of coffee has nothing to do with the laws of physics. And neither does the price of a cigar – premium or not. That doesn’t make me a genius. However, … Continue reading

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If you’re playing a poker game and can’t tell who the sucker is around the table — it’s you. Gambling promises the poor what property performs for the rich – something for nothing. And Atlantic City is like a crab, crawling backward in search of the ocean… and missing! And now back to being Gay…

One night under the low lights of a noisy tavern this young, vivacious woman with laughing eyes from Texas was explaining how she had logically, strategically and mathematically determined to move from Dallas to Philadelphia. That is instead of some … Continue reading

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It’s better to be Jewish than gay because when you’re Jewish you don’t have to tell your mother. Racism is so stupid when there are so many more reasons to dislike people on an individual basis. Hmm… I thought racism was when you hated ‘others’ more than you are supposed to…

I must be a racist — even if the word racist is like ketchup these days. It can be put on practically anything. Heck, as that leggy, blonde neo-con once wrote: If only Al Sharpton were around, Lincoln would have … Continue reading

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I tried to commit suicide by sticking my head in the oven, but there was a cake in it. Hmm…There is something both great and terrible about suicide, euthanasia and such. But the law is ‘law-fool’ and afflicts us foolishly. The only difference between suicide and martyrdom is press coverage.

One of the times I tried suicide the rope ended up being too long. Hmm… Don’t laugh. This was a tragic miscalculation. After all, I was a math major. Another time I tried overdosing on what I thought was sleeping … Continue reading

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Over $2 billion was spent to sell us a President for the next four years. Yet Congress, corporations and Wall Street won’t even spend the time to hear that money can’t buy you love. Hell, most of those guys couldn’t even get laid in a whorehouse with a fistful of fiftys…

I had just voted. And I didn’t know whether to feel a little satisfied or a lot frightened. All I knew is that the choice had never been as difficult as it was this time. Nor as meaningless once again. … Continue reading

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