Tag Archives: gun

Just as there are doctors who help people who have done bad things, there are lawyers who defend bad people. People do not win fights, lawyers do. Everyone thinks defense lawyers must believe their clients are innocent, but that’s seldom true. Most of the time they are guilty as O.J… yet Trev also got his client off — mostly…

Trev collapsed into the cushy chair and exhaled a long satisfied pillar of smoke from his cigar. And while it formed a cumulus cloud of contentment over his exhausted, shaved head he simply uttered: “Well, I did my job…” When … Continue reading

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Life is beautiful but people are crazy. It’s just the way we are. Of course I’m crazy, but that doesn’t mean I’m wrong. The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. And that’s what Louie-duh-too-sane-lawyer was trying to explain to crazy-Ian…

Louie-duh-lawyer isn’t the only one over at the Twin Cigar Shoppe who is absolutely certain that Ian is insane — even for this planet. Which is why we dub him ‘the alien.’ Apparently Ian thinks mostly when he’s squatting on … Continue reading

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As you get older it’s harder to have heroes, but it is sort of necessary… I guess. But just because I ‘accidentally’ saved the chief’s life, shouldn’t have made me his hero. And then he offered me his daughter. Oy-vey! Heroes don’t get wives, they get all duh women… don’t they? Sooo, what is a hero?

One time, a lot of years back, in West Africa, after a rather raucous conflict that involved shooting people who were spraying bullets and other harmful objects our way, a tribal chief tried to reward me with one of his … Continue reading

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Everybody in America seems to be angry about something. As for me, I would fail an anger management course – proudly. And I rightly figure that people are being unjust about anger… I think it can be enlivening and a lot of fun. Just get out on the highway…

Shapely Sharon, who came from a Tennessee family too rich and laughed like a pirate, was driving us, a while back, on Philadelphia’s Schuylkill (notoriously pronounced locally as Sure-kill) Expressway… And she was ambling along rather sanely for a change. … Continue reading

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I am fed up with tipping, especially for mediocre service. We pay too much and get too little for most everything these days. If all we’ve got to offer in America is service, then, by golly, let’s do it the American way – bigger, better and cheaper…

Yesterday I found another reason not to carry a gun. As I was heading out the door of a busy shoe repair shop I have regularly patronized for over 20 years, one of the middle-aged shoe shine fellows barked, like … Continue reading

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Our clowns in Washington bailed out everybody. So who is going to bail us out from them? Hell, whose going to shoot them? It’s time to cut the cake so that everyone thinks he’s got the biggest piece…

Just when I got to thinking that Congress couldn’t possibly do anything dumber, it goes and dumbfounds me…totally redeeming itself. Please correct me if I am wrong – then again, don’t. I really don’t care anymore. But I thought it … Continue reading

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What has happened to this Frenchman IMF chief happened to me. By my own sick, lying wife. And the lying lawyers and the DAs. After my wife self destructed the charges were quickly withdrawn. But not my hell and repercussions. And no one helps.

I don’t understand  how a man — like me, for instance — would dare to enter one of his ex-wives’ houses — invited or not — without a video camera, tape recorder and an elephant gun. And that’s just so … Continue reading

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