Tag Archives: Haitian

I know some people are against drunk driving, but sometimes you’ve just got no choice — those kids gotta get to school. I know I am crazy, but it keeps me from going insane. And I know women: You can’t live with them and you can’t get them to drive up in a skimpy uniform and beat you with a warm squash…

Kind, sweet Yasmine sometimes wears this unusual, oversized mood ring. When she is in a good mood it turns blue. And when in a bad mood it leaves a big red welt across my forehead. Hmm… Such as when we … Continue reading

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When the man tried to insult us with racist remarks I told the 12-year-old with me to never get into a fight with an ugly man because he’s got nothing to lose. And he’s so ugly that when he was born the doctor smacked his mother…Hmm. God saves us – except from fools.

After viewing the marvelous “Pompeii” exhibit at Philadelphia’s wonderful Franklin Institute Sunday afternoon I was strolling with my Haitian libation and her two kids up the street for a much anticipated special dinner. At one point a young black couple … Continue reading

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There are no birthdays in the Bible. And in modern times there is no cure for the common birthday…but there is a temporary cure for flaccid aging men. Unfortunately my pill dropped somewhere on the restaurant’s carpeted floor. And there I was screaming to fellow diners: Don’t anybody move!…

Towards the end of my marvelous birthday repast Saturday nite on the storied Moshulu, a 4-masted 110-year-old converted restaurant ship moored along Philadelphia’s never-to-be-completed Delaware River renaissance, I tried to sneak my one-and-only Viagra pill… but dropped it. But of … Continue reading

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Obviously I’m not the world’s most handsome man… I’m the world’s second most handsome man! And all I can say is that G-d must love ugly people…because he made so many of us. Fortunately I have good-looking kids…thank goodness my ex-wife cheated on me…

My recent and ongoing weekend warrior was asking me the other day why I think she and I have been hitting it off so well. That’s a euphemism for: What do you like about me? And to respond to something … Continue reading

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