Tag Archives: Homeland Security

Does it seem like killing our children is getting to be like ‘adult entertainment?’ But what-duh-hell-what-duh-heck hang ‘em up by the neck. That’s why I hate vegetarians – they won’t eat anything that can have children. Hmm… come to think of it, we adults ain’t nothing but outdated children…

They’re starving the children to skin and bones in Darfur. They’re burning the children in Nigeria. They’re raping the children in churches everywhere. They’re depriving the children of most everything that used to be affordable in Venezuela… Brazil… Argentina… They’re … Continue reading

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My imaginary friends think I have serious mental problems. Hmm… We’re all fools on this penal colony called Earth. But the worst fool is one who maintains his dignity to avoid any embarrassment of regretting his regrets. And indeed, there are certain birthdays that cause you to revalue your life…

More than a few years back on a foreign talk show prying into some of my global misadventures that might have proven only a tad less disastrous than ISIS, I was suddenly and incongruously asked, if I had any regrets. … Continue reading

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There are no birthdays in the Bible. And in modern times there is no cure for the common birthday…but there is a temporary cure for flaccid aging men. Unfortunately my pill dropped somewhere on the restaurant’s carpeted floor. And there I was screaming to fellow diners: Don’t anybody move!…

Towards the end of my marvelous birthday repast Saturday nite on the storied Moshulu, a 4-masted 110-year-old converted restaurant ship moored along Philadelphia’s never-to-be-completed Delaware River renaissance, I tried to sneak my one-and-only Viagra pill… but dropped it. But of … Continue reading

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Happy Birthday to me…Dying has got to be easier than aging. The mind is the second thing to go. And the first leaves me shooting pool with a rope. I always wanted to be 12 years old forever…

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? I have no bloody idea. In my bedroom the sheep are always running too scared for me to count them. Besides, age is the last thing I’m … Continue reading

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What do we do about Murdoch and his ersatz news organization? We hire him to do bigger, better and cheaper what our government buffoons can barely do at all. Remember, he is still the enemy of our enemy…

Listen: It’s always easier to fix the blame than fix the problem. So now that we’ve blamed Murdoch, what’s to be done about the problem? Precisely the same thing we do with hackers that get inside corporate and government main … Continue reading

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