Tag Archives: horse

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face. Men are only born ignorant, but work overtime on staying stupid. We seem to forget that a woman may born you… love you… and mourn you… But a woman is a sometime thing. And sometime between that woman and dawn, I lost my memory… and my bike…

Whenever someone tells me to do something – even have a nice day – I often respond: ‘Hmm… I’ve been married. I know how to follow orders.’ But not very well, apparently, since from time to time I’ve been in … Continue reading

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There are two things people want more than sex and money — recognition and praise. That’s why everybody’s running for President. However, if you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughed, was it a joke? And that’s why I’m voting for the Donald…

During the last few days I was reading some newspaper stories that reminded me that life is pretty funny when you realize how absurd it can be. Like, about the guy from Pennsylvania seeking to have sex with a horse … Continue reading

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If you’re playing a poker game and can’t tell who the sucker is around the table — it’s you. Gambling promises the poor what property performs for the rich – something for nothing. And Atlantic City is like a crab, crawling backward in search of the ocean… and missing! And now back to being Gay…

One night under the low lights of a noisy tavern this young, vivacious woman with laughing eyes from Texas was explaining how she had logically, strategically and mathematically determined to move from Dallas to Philadelphia. That is instead of some … Continue reading

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He slapped me for what I had written about that distressing haircut his beautiful biz partner gave me. And all I could think was: He may look like an idiot and act like an idiot, but don’t let that fool you – he really is an idiot.

Apparently, I have enemies I have never actually met. Like the other night when one of them accosted me during a karaoke night in a tavern and slapped me. And I wasn’t even singing. At first I thought it must … Continue reading

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