Tag Archives: Jesus

I am on my fourth dental student since July. And I still haven’t even had my teeth cleaned yet. But I have gotten blamed for the last mishap. I thank Jesus for both of us being Jewish…I mean I’m used to being blamed…

It’s not just because I am Jewish, but I am used to being blamed for most everything. I can’t even pass by a sobbing woman without feeling responsible. I mean, after all, Jewish mothers invented guilt. Like Mary, who constantly … Continue reading

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I often seem to confuse the ritual of baptism with waterboarding. I do know that one of them ‘absolutely’ gets the truth out of you… Meanwhile, back in the Sea of Galilee some American congressmen were swimming naked….

I’m glad I am a man who once danced naked with a woman in the Mediterranean Sea at midnight. We were inebriated by all those magical potions indulgent lovers embrace under candlelit stars. And to this very day, even with … Continue reading

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Some folks like to insist there are only steers and queers in Texas. And you don’t look like no steer. Well, no doubt from G-d’s far away aerie we all look more than a little queer — whether we are single, married or divorced…Odd as that may seem to some folks…even if you’re asexual…

As a divorced father recently wailed: Gay people should definitely be allowed to get married. Just because somebody’s gay doesn’t mean he shouldn’t suffer like the rest of us. Now that’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout! But for some reason we … Continue reading

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Just for duh record: Jesus is Jewish; Obama ain’t black; McCain was a bad pilot, and Palin and Bachmann are two half-wits that don’t add up to a wit. And everybody lies!

As me dear ol’ pappy used to say between those omnipotent puffs on his omniscient corn cob pipe: You don’t need to tell a woman she is beautiful, you just ought to remind her. Hmmm…the man should have kept his … Continue reading

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