Tag Archives: Jew

It’s been no secret for centuries that ‘the rich get divorced, and the poor get ethics.’ In other words, the law and opportunities aren’t the same for everybody. Indeed there is larceny in all our hearts. But some hearts steal more. And the rest of us get a lot less…

The other day at the Twin Smoke Shoppe in South Philly where I puff cigars daily, Ralph got to talking about the time years back he used the $100 ‘given’ him to get poked with a prostitute… and instead bought … Continue reading

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Do you think the historic climate change agreement adopted in Paris is going to save us from ISIS? Sometimes I wish that I was the weather, you’d bring me up in conversation forever. And when it snowed, I’d be the talk of the day…

Sooo…. This talkative, buxom, middle-aged woman seated next to me at the banquet table just reached over and started fondling the butterfly and cock-fighting pins I regularly garnish on my chest. She took her time examining, fingering each of the … Continue reading

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It’s impossible to get a conversation going these days. Everybody talks too much… and says too little. The Paris climate talks were a waste of oxygen. Everybody’s accusing The Donald of using up all the oxygen in the room. And meanwhile we have yet to deprive the ‘terrorists’ of their oxygen. It’s time to take a breather – grab your oxygen masks…

Back long before puberty and even a few years before I began dousing my breakfast coffee with bourbon I used to listen as the morning news reports interrupted the popular music playing on our small town local radio station. And … Continue reading

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To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stoopid, you must also be well-mannered. And in Israel, in order to be a realist you must believe in miracles. So, how many more sons must die before the Israelis and Palestinians realize nobody wants them — and that’s why they should want each other.

I have buried a younger brother. And scores of friends and relatives. A father. Numerous enemies. And lots of secrets. And undoubtedly the sad day will all-too-soon arrive to bury my fragile younger son who miraculously has reached the age … Continue reading

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When I run into a closed-minded dimwit I think: There’s one more argument for birth control. The best argument against democracy is a 5-minute talk with the average voter. The aim of an argument isn’t victory, but progress. And then there’s my argument with Gene, as well as the Redskins…

He wouldn’t stop. And I — the target of his sophomoric, disparaging, ‘anti-semantic’ spew — wasn’t the only one in the cigar shop more than a tad ‘not-amused’. After a couple of months a couple of others who were finally … Continue reading

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It’s better to be Jewish than gay because when you’re Jewish you don’t have to tell your mother. Racism is so stupid when there are so many more reasons to dislike people on an individual basis. Hmm… I thought racism was when you hated ‘others’ more than you are supposed to…

I must be a racist — even if the word racist is like ketchup these days. It can be put on practically anything. Heck, as that leggy, blonde neo-con once wrote: If only Al Sharpton were around, Lincoln would have … Continue reading

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In a world of racism, sexism, anti-Semitism and all hateful things, what inevitably seems to conquer all is…horniness. It ain’t happening in church. The most segregated time in America is the weekly hour of worship – to the very same Lord who made us all, great and small…

The first time I ‘slept’ (Slept? Who had time to sleep?!) with this woman in West Africa’s Ivory Coast  she turned to me and wondered in those scrumptious, breathy, French half-tones: “Am I your first black woman?” I smiled devilishly … Continue reading

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