Twitter Updates
- @ashleyhalsey3rd Ash, thankx for the tweets. Really enjoyed you flu story, especially since I died and was reborn f… twitter.com/i/web/status/9… 2 years ago
- @jackielondon Wow! On my next reincarnation I wanna come back with the same teleprompter you have. Sheesh... the ol… twitter.com/i/web/status/9… 3 years ago
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Recent Posts
- I am not here to grieve Larry’s death, but to thank G-d that such a man lived. Indeed, the timing of his demise, like the ending of a story, gives a changed meaning to what preceded it. And obviously, true wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves and the world around us…
- Children begin by loving their parents; then they judge them; rarely, do they forgive them. But blame is for G-d and the small children we must keep from going insane. Leanne discovered she couldn’t have them. And I had married into insanity. Indeed, mothers may be fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own…
- Imagination was given to man to compensate for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is. We don’t lose our sense of humor because we get old. We get old because we lose our sense of humor. The problem with humor is often that people you use it on aren’t in a very good mood. And Joey G was cute when he was being humorless…
- Just as there are doctors who help people who have done bad things, there are lawyers who defend bad people. People do not win fights, lawyers do. Everyone thinks defense lawyers must believe their clients are innocent, but that’s seldom true. Most of the time they are guilty as O.J… yet Trev also got his client off — mostly…
- Mother’s Day can be a torment, especially if your mother’s been dead less than a year… Men are what their mothers made them. And my mother was slightly insane. She told us baked potato skins were bad for us – so she could devour ours. Hmm… I write a mental letter to my mother every day… and apparently so does my brother…
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Tag Archives: Jews
Life is beautiful but people are crazy. It’s just the way we are. Of course I’m crazy, but that doesn’t mean I’m wrong. The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. And that’s what Louie-duh-too-sane-lawyer was trying to explain to crazy-Ian…
Louie-duh-lawyer isn’t the only one over at the Twin Cigar Shoppe who is absolutely certain that Ian is insane — even for this planet. Which is why we dub him ‘the alien.’ Apparently Ian thinks mostly when he’s squatting on … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Afghanistan, America, crazy, Crimea, devil, genius, gun, Home Security, insane, Iraq, Italian, Jews, Korea, lawyer, mental, MOAB, Philadelphia, Russia, special-ops, stupidity, Syria, Texas, Trump, Zeus
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If a man watches 3 football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. No one in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. And meanwhile, I am having a breakdown…
I am not absolutely certain, but I think I am having another breakdown… which I am sure doesn’t come as a surprise to any of my exes. Undoubtedly, they figure I broke down years back – especially after I tied … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged America, American Indian, apes, Arizona, Australia, bathroom, Bill, blizzard, boxing, Brazil, Brazilian, Buffalo, burial ground, car racing, Clinton, Colin Kaepernick, Cowboys, Dallas, Edward Snowden, Einstein, football, France, Germany, Grand Canyon, Hillary, Home Security, Januart, Jews, Liberia, Muslim, NCAA, New York, NFL, NSA, Palestinian, prayer, religion, replays, rugby, San Francisco, Sandra Bland, scarecrow, Supreme Court, Trump, Vietnam, war
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My imaginary friends think I have serious mental problems. Hmm… We’re all fools on this penal colony called Earth. But the worst fool is one who maintains his dignity to avoid any embarrassment of regretting his regrets. And indeed, there are certain birthdays that cause you to revalue your life…
More than a few years back on a foreign talk show prying into some of my global misadventures that might have proven only a tad less disastrous than ISIS, I was suddenly and incongruously asked, if I had any regrets. … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged birthday, Buddhists, driver's license, failure, Fundamentalists, Hallmark, Homeland Security, ISIS, Jews, mischief, Muslims, New Testament, Philadelphia, regrets, Seine, Walnut Street
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The reason I don’t own a gun is that I would use it… often. The reason liberal Sean doesn’t own a gun is because he ain’t right in the head. The reason neo-con Louie doesn’t have a gun is just too convoluted. Hmm… Most of ‘neutral’ Switzerland owns a gun or two, and they barely have any crime… No shit!…
We all agreed: Something has got to be done. Oy-vey-iz-mir. Trouble is we couldn’t agree on just what that something was. Sort of like Congress. We were enemies… instead of folks with merely different intellectual points of view trying to … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged American, armed forces, Baptist, Ben Carson, catholic, Congress, Custard, Diocese, guns, Hitler, Jewish, Jews, liberal, Mexican, Nazis, Philly, pope, President, South Philly, Switzerland
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When will the Hamas also learn: That life is never fair, and perhaps that’s a good thing for most of us that it is not. That truth exists; only lies are invented. And to beware of the wrath of a patient man. As my dear ol’ Pappy exclaimed: ‘Fair?! The only fare I know is what I pay to ride the bus!’ And dats duh truth…
My dear ol’ bourbon sippin’ Pappy used to beat us. Rather regularly. My older brother-duh-doc and me. And sometimes the beatings could be rather innovative. Now remember, this was post WWII when many fathers – and even mothers — offered … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged America, Arab, Axis, Egypt, fair, fare, Gaza, Gaza Strip, Golan Heights, Hamas, hatred, Israel, Jews, jihadists, Jordan, Muslim, Palestinian, peace, PLO, Six Day War, Syria, Time, time clock, tunnels, war, WWII, Yom Kippur War
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There’s a time and place for everything. Love has its place, as does hate. So does peace, as does war. And mercy vies with cruelty and revenge. What I am saying is that it’s far easier to forgive an enemy after you’ve put him in his place. Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. So let’s bomb Syria!
Let’s all – as in A-L-L — us Jews and Christians and Muslims and Buddhists and Hindus… and all the rest of us fellow pious hypocrites and atheists get something ramrod straighter than we would — even on Viagra: Yes, … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Afghanistan, Alabama, America, Arab, Ariel Sharon, Armenia, Baptist, Billy Graham, Botox, Buddhists, Cahtolic, Chicago, China, Christians, church, Civil rights, Colorado, Congo, Congress, Croatia, Darfur, David, Drone, Egypt, el-Assad, forgiveness, Goliath, Haymarket, Hindu, Iran, Iraq, Israel, Jackson State, Jefferson, Jews, justice, Kent State, liberty, Ludlow, Muslims, Obama, paratrooper, President, Protestant, Putin, Queensbury Rules, Red Line, Russia, Rwands, Serbia, Shakespeare, soldier, Suez Canal, Syria, trail of tears, UN, viagra, Vietnam War, war, Yom Kippur
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I am on my fourth dental student since July. And I still haven’t even had my teeth cleaned yet. But I have gotten blamed for the last mishap. I thank Jesus for both of us being Jewish…I mean I’m used to being blamed…
It’s not just because I am Jewish, but I am used to being blamed for most everything. I can’t even pass by a sobbing woman without feeling responsible. I mean, after all, Jewish mothers invented guilt. Like Mary, who constantly … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Army, calendar, D.C., Democrats, dental school, dentists, Freud, Hurricane Sandy, Jesus, Jewish, Jews, Louisiana, Mary, Mayan, medical school, Missouri, Moses, Nurse Ratchet, Patience, Republicans, Saudi, sex, University of Pennsylvania Dental School, virtue, Voice Mail, Washington, White House
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If we tattooed our spouses, lawyers, politicians, crooks, criminals and other infidels at least their accomplices couldn’t claim to not know who they were with, or what they were doing
The man seated next to me in the diner unwrapped the blue saran around the territory extending from five inches below his right elbow to an equal distance above. I had curiously asked if he had been injured or had … Continue reading
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Tagged 18-wheeler, abstract art, Alps, American Indian, billboard, black sppider, bourbon, bull's eye, cathedrals, circus, Civil War, club, Cortez, country, court, deity, Diner, dots, Egypt, fat lady, genius, GPS, Halloween, henna, Hindu, hot tub, Jamaica, Jews, law, lawyers, legs, Leviticus, machete, Mexico, Michelangelo, Moses, motorcycle, mummy, New York City, nose rings, Old Testament, other cheek, pagan, pappy, Passover, Picasso, picnic, pirates, public trust, redneck, roadmaps, sculpting, Spaniush conquistadors, spider webs, spider woman, stencil, target, tattoo, tattooed man, teenagers, tilakaIndia, tribal, turn, Wall Street, Warlock, worship, WOW
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I met an old friend. We undressed each other. And learned what Washington should learn: There should be no place to hide your lies or secret agendas
The other day I bumped into the ex-wife of an old journalist compatriot I haven’t seen in the last 25 years. Either one. And she looked marvelous. We had a long afternoon lunch. Then we had a longer late nite … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged birthday suit, breakfast, burdens, circus, clothes, comedy, communication, Congress, Crohns, dead, Democrat, dinner, ex-wife, Florida, friends, gerbil, gerbil wheel, hardship, heart, human, Independent, intimate, IRS, Jews, journalist, juveniles, lies, love, lunch, married, Mohammed, Moses, mouths, Muslim, naked, pain, party, pastlove, pleasure, pork, reception, Republican, schools, secrets, sex, shame, shoulders, stewardess, talk, Tea Party, Terri Schiavo, tragedy, undead, Washington, wedding, Zakki
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