Tag Archives: John McCain

There are two things people want more than sex and money — recognition and praise. That’s why everybody’s running for President. However, if you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughed, was it a joke? And that’s why I’m voting for the Donald…

During the last few days I was reading some newspaper stories that reminded me that life is pretty funny when you realize how absurd it can be. Like, about the guy from Pennsylvania seeking to have sex with a horse … Continue reading

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Judgment usually comes from experience. And experience often comes from bad judgment. The real war is not between East and West – it is between intelligent and stoopid people. Circumstances cause us to act the way we do. Keep that in mind before stupidly pre-judging the actions of POW Bergdahl…

A law professor friend once instructed me in the chicanery of legal sophistry this way: If you have the law on your side, pound the law; if the facts are on your side pound the facts; but if neither are … Continue reading

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Just for duh record: Jesus is Jewish; Obama ain’t black; McCain was a bad pilot, and Palin and Bachmann are two half-wits that don’t add up to a wit. And everybody lies!

As me dear ol’ pappy used to say between those omnipotent puffs on his omniscient corn cob pipe: You don’t need to tell a woman she is beautiful, you just ought to remind her. Hmmm…the man should have kept his … Continue reading

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He slapped me for what I had written about that distressing haircut his beautiful biz partner gave me. And all I could think was: He may look like an idiot and act like an idiot, but don’t let that fool you – he really is an idiot.

Apparently, I have enemies I have never actually met. Like the other night when one of them accosted me during a karaoke night in a tavern and slapped me. And I wasn’t even singing. At first I thought it must … Continue reading

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Dancing ain’t nothing but foreplay: Someone’s gotta lead; someone’s gotta do it backwards, and someone’s gotta give it up for God and country

The reason I like learning to salsa dance — even as much as I enjoy smoking cigars and eating Carmel waffle-cone ice cream – is that someone has to lead. And even in America’s uxorious, overly-politically-correct bastion of transgendered  males … Continue reading

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