Tag Archives: lawyer

Life is beautiful but people are crazy. It’s just the way we are. Of course I’m crazy, but that doesn’t mean I’m wrong. The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. And that’s what Louie-duh-too-sane-lawyer was trying to explain to crazy-Ian…

Louie-duh-lawyer isn’t the only one over at the Twin Cigar Shoppe who is absolutely certain that Ian is insane — even for this planet. Which is why we dub him ‘the alien.’ Apparently Ian thinks mostly when he’s squatting on … Continue reading

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There are two things people want more than sex and money — recognition and praise. That’s why everybody’s running for President. However, if you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughed, was it a joke? And that’s why I’m voting for the Donald…

During the last few days I was reading some newspaper stories that reminded me that life is pretty funny when you realize how absurd it can be. Like, about the guy from Pennsylvania seeking to have sex with a horse … Continue reading

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Old age ain’t for sissies… You don’t stop laughing because you get old; you get old because you stop laughing. And then there is my wrinkled mother who has been wondering: ‘What am I doing here?’ And I told her: That’s the very same question most of us ask in the morning bathroom mirror…

Her question didn’t seem so odd or out of context to me. But it set the other folks surrounding Mom’s hospital bed to second-guessing. You know, stealing side-glances at each other with that suspicious brusque insight. That perhaps my ailing … Continue reading

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You don’t learn to walk by following the rules. And if you obey all the rules you miss all the fun. But rules exist in every culture in history. Even those governing defecation. After all what is toilet training if not the first attempt to turn a child into an acceptable member of society?

A few years back, while watching the Philadelphia Phillies in the October baseball playoffs with some old college chums, we got to conversing with a group of younger women at the bar. And it turned out they had graduated from … Continue reading

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The true adventurer goes forth aimless and uncalculating to meet and greet unknown fate. Which is how I ended up going to my first social mixer. And I learned something: Most people just want to be entertained. And enjoy the moment – even if it includes an annoyance like me…

I went, a tad reluctantly, to a social mixer last night. I think it was for professionals. Or perhaps just anybody on this planet with an actual job looking for women or men also with jobs, in order to meet, … Continue reading

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A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. The courts are so backed up that one lawyer has sued them. While we needed to clean up our medical bizness we also need to kick ass and quit chewing gum with the overpriced, time consuming ‘ill – legal’ system…

In Mike’s angry, white-knuckled fist was a crumpled $75 citation he had received from the City. It was for a ‘false police alarm’ at his telephone shop on Ninth Street in the heart of South Philadelphia’s celebrated Italian Market. Only … Continue reading

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Oh, you hate your job? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar…Yet, if you do a half-assed job, you’re a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind, dumb, stoopid and unhappy…Learn from successes, for if you learn only from mistakes, you learn only errors…

After spending nearly three months attempting to lasso a copy of my birth certificate, the department of records finally sent me – after political intervention — two copies. However, both possessed the absolutely wrong month and day. And all my … Continue reading

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