Twitter Updates
- @ashleyhalsey3rd Ash, thankx for the tweets. Really enjoyed you flu story, especially since I died and was reborn f… twitter.com/i/web/status/9… 2 years ago
- @jackielondon Wow! On my next reincarnation I wanna come back with the same teleprompter you have. Sheesh... the ol… twitter.com/i/web/status/9… 3 years ago
- @jackielondon With all that's going on in the world and you news cheerleaders are spending the whole day promoting… twitter.com/i/web/status/9… 3 years ago
- @jackielondon Sheesh... if it's vapid we all know you'll love it. For crying out loud, change your teleprompter 3 years ago
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Recent Posts
- I am not here to grieve Larry’s death, but to thank G-d that such a man lived. Indeed, the timing of his demise, like the ending of a story, gives a changed meaning to what preceded it. And obviously, true wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves and the world around us…
- Children begin by loving their parents; then they judge them; rarely, do they forgive them. But blame is for G-d and the small children we must keep from going insane. Leanne discovered she couldn’t have them. And I had married into insanity. Indeed, mothers may be fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own…
- Imagination was given to man to compensate for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is. We don’t lose our sense of humor because we get old. We get old because we lose our sense of humor. The problem with humor is often that people you use it on aren’t in a very good mood. And Joey G was cute when he was being humorless…
- Just as there are doctors who help people who have done bad things, there are lawyers who defend bad people. People do not win fights, lawyers do. Everyone thinks defense lawyers must believe their clients are innocent, but that’s seldom true. Most of the time they are guilty as O.J… yet Trev also got his client off — mostly…
- Mother’s Day can be a torment, especially if your mother’s been dead less than a year… Men are what their mothers made them. And my mother was slightly insane. She told us baked potato skins were bad for us – so she could devour ours. Hmm… I write a mental letter to my mother every day… and apparently so does my brother…
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Tag Archives: lawyer
Life is beautiful but people are crazy. It’s just the way we are. Of course I’m crazy, but that doesn’t mean I’m wrong. The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane. And that’s what Louie-duh-too-sane-lawyer was trying to explain to crazy-Ian…
Louie-duh-lawyer isn’t the only one over at the Twin Cigar Shoppe who is absolutely certain that Ian is insane — even for this planet. Which is why we dub him ‘the alien.’ Apparently Ian thinks mostly when he’s squatting on … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged Afghanistan, America, crazy, Crimea, devil, genius, gun, Home Security, insane, Iraq, Italian, Jews, Korea, lawyer, mental, MOAB, Philadelphia, Russia, special-ops, stupidity, Syria, Texas, Trump, Zeus
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There are two things people want more than sex and money — recognition and praise. That’s why everybody’s running for President. However, if you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughed, was it a joke? And that’s why I’m voting for the Donald…
During the last few days I was reading some newspaper stories that reminded me that life is pretty funny when you realize how absurd it can be. Like, about the guy from Pennsylvania seeking to have sex with a horse … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged America, Americans, Arizona, bail, baseball, Bill Clinton, Bill Cosby, catholic, CIA, Congress, Democrats, Donald Trump, elephant, football, gay, George W. Bush, Hanoi, Hilton, hog, horse, Huffington Post, jackass, Jewish, John McCain, Laos, lawyer, lesbian, LGBT, Mexicans, New York, Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, Philadelphia Phillies, pig, politically incorrect, politician, President, racist, Ralph Nader, Republicans, Sarah Palin, Saudi, Senate, sex, stupid, Supreme Court, TV, Veteran Hospital, Veterans, Vietnam, Washitgon Nationals
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Old age ain’t for sissies… You don’t stop laughing because you get old; you get old because you stop laughing. And then there is my wrinkled mother who has been wondering: ‘What am I doing here?’ And I told her: That’s the very same question most of us ask in the morning bathroom mirror…
Her question didn’t seem so odd or out of context to me. But it set the other folks surrounding Mom’s hospital bed to second-guessing. You know, stealing side-glances at each other with that suspicious brusque insight. That perhaps my ailing … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged bordello, Brian L. Strunk, DA, DNA, doctor, dominatrix, India, Jewish, laughter, lawyer, marathon, marriage, medicine, Pakistan, rehab, San Francisco, San Francisco Bay. Golden Gate Bridge, tennis, viagra, war
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You don’t learn to walk by following the rules. And if you obey all the rules you miss all the fun. But rules exist in every culture in history. Even those governing defecation. After all what is toilet training if not the first attempt to turn a child into an acceptable member of society?
A few years back, while watching the Philadelphia Phillies in the October baseball playoffs with some old college chums, we got to conversing with a group of younger women at the bar. And it turned out they had graduated from … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged antidepressant, Argentina, bankers, Banks, bible, cheating, Chinese, compassion, Congress, congressmen, devil, Dickinson College, federal, fines, games, Golden Rule, government, indifference, investment houses, Islam, jihadists, killing, lawyer, local, marrriage, medicinal, morality.principle, Musketeers, Philadelphia, Phillies, pills, politician, rules, Russia, same sex, society, state, U.S., Washington
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The true adventurer goes forth aimless and uncalculating to meet and greet unknown fate. Which is how I ended up going to my first social mixer. And I learned something: Most people just want to be entertained. And enjoy the moment – even if it includes an annoyance like me…
I went, a tad reluctantly, to a social mixer last night. I think it was for professionals. Or perhaps just anybody on this planet with an actual job looking for women or men also with jobs, in order to meet, … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged ceremonious, cigar, del frisco, eye, fiction, French, Golf, Gucci, gym, handicap, Independence Hall, jobs, lawyer, Liberty Bell, Lithuanian, Monaca, occupation, perfume, Philadelphia, pleeasure, social intercourse, social mixer, stranger, surgeon, truth, wit
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A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers. The courts are so backed up that one lawyer has sued them. While we needed to clean up our medical bizness we also need to kick ass and quit chewing gum with the overpriced, time consuming ‘ill – legal’ system…
In Mike’s angry, white-knuckled fist was a crumpled $75 citation he had received from the City. It was for a ‘false police alarm’ at his telephone shop on Ninth Street in the heart of South Philadelphia’s celebrated Italian Market. Only … Continue reading
Oh, you hate your job? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar…Yet, if you do a half-assed job, you’re a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind, dumb, stoopid and unhappy…Learn from successes, for if you learn only from mistakes, you learn only errors…
After spending nearly three months attempting to lasso a copy of my birth certificate, the department of records finally sent me – after political intervention — two copies. However, both possessed the absolutely wrong month and day. And all my … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged birth certificate, Broadway, celebrity, cell, DA, detective, errors, Grand Jury, Irishman, lawyer, lottery, mistakes, money, Obama, Obamacare, Philadelphia, Silver, standards, success, texting, unhappy, vote
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