Tag Archives: love

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face. Men are only born ignorant, but work overtime on staying stupid. We seem to forget that a woman may born you… love you… and mourn you… But a woman is a sometime thing. And sometime between that woman and dawn, I lost my memory… and my bike…

Whenever someone tells me to do something – even have a nice day – I often respond: ‘Hmm… I’ve been married. I know how to follow orders.’ But not very well, apparently, since from time to time I’ve been in … Continue reading

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The biggest difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for $$$ usually costs a lot less. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of problems. I have a tremendous sex drive – my girl lives 75 miles away. But today’s new rules of sex are driving us all nuts.

You know that look women get when they want to have sex? Me neither… But back in college one evening, sultry, buxom Penny suddenly decided she wanted to wrestle. We were strolling across the deserted soccer field. And for some … Continue reading

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When I am in a bad mood I don’t listen. And all of us have pretty serious mood swings. Fear may be the mother of morality. But evidence is accumulating that the relatively tiny doses of lithium in our ground water does improve our moods. So let’s add some more…

I was conversing with a group of psychiatrists the other day when they all got around to nodding and smiling like a bunch of fraternity pranksters. They were giddy at the idea of adding more lithium to our water reservoir … Continue reading

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A question that sometimes drives me hazy: Am I or are the others crazy? No doubt exists that we are all crazy; it’s only a question of degree. However, if you’re going to be crazy, you have to get paid for it or else you’re going to be locked up… And then there was Robin Williams…

I was misdiagnosed. But I don’t really blame the psychiatrist. He was a victim of Stephanie. Just as I was. She didn’t so much convince him I was crazy. Just as she didn’t convince me. We both just surrendered. And … Continue reading

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On July 4th we celebrate independence. Among other matters we detested being taxed without representation. Unfortunately, 237 years later we are being taxed with mis-representation. Those in authority eat up too much in taxes. And we-duh-people are starving for our independence — again…

The following thought – even though it has little directly to do with U.S. Sen. John McCain — is not anymore flawed, than the former Presidential candidate’s problematic military, marriage and métier record. Hmm…this could prove interesting…So follow me here: … Continue reading

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Nothing packs up and skips town faster than the Xmas spirit. And nothing brings people together quicker than mutual hatred. And when it comes to the Boston Marathon bomber we all are gluttons for vicious ways to diabolically punish this demon…

I used to think that movies vividly illustrating savage vengeance – such as hacking a genocidal bounty hunter‘s thumbs off; or staking a wicked desperado naked to the desert floor with molasses spread over his genitals; or nail-gunning the grinning … Continue reading

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Listen up! There is no life without sex – married, single or symbiotic. So does it follow that since I’m not having sex with anything I don’t have to inflate, that I don’t have a life?….Well…. But of course!

My dear ol’ bourbon sippin’ Pappy used to exhale between those omnipotent puffs on his omniscient corn cob pipe that: Sex is alot like oxygen – you don’t miss it unless you ain’t gettin’ any. So why does it seem … Continue reading

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