Tag Archives: Monica

Democracy is the process where we choose the person who will get the blame…like Snowden. And I blame my Big Mama for my poor sex life. All she told me is that the man goes on top and the woman goes underneath. For years a future ex-wife and I slept in bunk beds…

So, who can I blame for having so many exes? I guess I should have learned more from watching the farm animals, as well as listening to Edward Snowden. Hmm…. Anyway, blame is for G-d and small children. After all, … Continue reading

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We all lie. Not just Lance or Te’o or Bush or Clinton… We lie because it beats the alternative… It’s never going to stop. Never!.. And then there is the troubled soul in the apartment below. He killed his cat and then came after me… Hmm… He definitely wasn’t lying…

The tall man from whom I rent his top floor has a big belly and small feet. So, it is common knowledge that he often has trouble keeping his balance – ‘mentally’ in particular. And there Pete was the other … Continue reading

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I often seem to confuse the ritual of baptism with waterboarding. I do know that one of them ‘absolutely’ gets the truth out of you… Meanwhile, back in the Sea of Galilee some American congressmen were swimming naked….

I’m glad I am a man who once danced naked with a woman in the Mediterranean Sea at midnight. We were inebriated by all those magical potions indulgent lovers embrace under candlelit stars. And to this very day, even with … Continue reading

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Just like Anthony, a man may not know he is a fool…unless he’s got a wife to remind him not to fall in love with his latest piece of high tech equipment. For one thing: You can’t sleep with it.

Anthony Renzulli, the zany proprietor of “The best cigar shop in South Philadelphia,” knew he’d have to answer to his wife, Marie, for his latest purchase. And answering to that fiery blaze of bodacious pulchritude, even when she isn’t armed … Continue reading

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When it comes to unions, Republicans and Democrats everyone seems to forget: Don’t use a hatchet to remove a fly from a friend’s forehead.

So tell me who is lying. The unions stipulate that at least 12 workers a day across the country are being killed because the government isn’t funding OSHA to check on all the dangerous working conditions, especially for immigrant laborers … Continue reading

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