Tag Archives: Moses

It’s been no secret for centuries that ‘the rich get divorced, and the poor get ethics.’ In other words, the law and opportunities aren’t the same for everybody. Indeed there is larceny in all our hearts. But some hearts steal more. And the rest of us get a lot less…

The other day at the Twin Smoke Shoppe in South Philly where I puff cigars daily, Ralph got to talking about the time years back he used the $100 ‘given’ him to get poked with a prostitute… and instead bought … Continue reading

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Thank heaven for little girls, they grow up in the most delightful ways… And now look at Mo’ne… And at the rest of us embracing the simple life… again. So Keep It Simple, Stupid!

What I love about the Little League World Series and its darling, Mo’ne, is that most of us don’t seem to notice or care that ‘she’ is black. And ain’t that just splendid. Because once again a beautiful, very young, … Continue reading

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I cry for Boston. Just like I’ve cried each terrible time we’ve lost a piece of our innocence. But my tears will turn to outraged jeers if Big Brother government afflicts our freedoms with any more encumbrances! We are here to Live Free or Die: For Death is not the worst of evils!

I didn’t first lose my young innocence in that whorehouse in Venezuela. And I didn’t lose it the other day with the bombings and cowardly killings at the Boston Marathon. I think my innocence began ebbing long before both. That … Continue reading

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I am on my fourth dental student since July. And I still haven’t even had my teeth cleaned yet. But I have gotten blamed for the last mishap. I thank Jesus for both of us being Jewish…I mean I’m used to being blamed…

It’s not just because I am Jewish, but I am used to being blamed for most everything. I can’t even pass by a sobbing woman without feeling responsible. I mean, after all, Jewish mothers invented guilt. Like Mary, who constantly … Continue reading

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From the recent conventions you must agree that Republicans have nothing but bad ideas. And the Democrats have no ideas. Indeed, democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time. And I’ve come to believe the only difference between Republicans and Democrats is Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too…

I have a confession. I have been a Republican – at least in my lustful heart — since birth. But in truth, I have never found a Republican to vote for. It’s not that I don’t trust them. I trust … Continue reading

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If Dick Cheney would have shot Trayvon Martin would they have called it another hunting accident? Would they have termed it a racist thing, or just another stupid act by another rich white guy with a gun license…

Six years back when Bush’s Vice President ‘Dick’ shot that Texas attorney perilously close to death everybody who had something to gain or maintain, quickly called it a “hunting accident.” Had that fellow-hunting-fool died of his heart attack and collapsed … Continue reading

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Dressing farm animals in women’s clothing ain’t nearly as fun as going to the Philadelphia Tattoo Convention with a warning sign out front: “No weapons. No alcohol. No colors.”

At first I thought my friend couldn’t go in. The big stark incongruous black and white sign at the front door read: “No weapons — No alcohol — No colors” I looked at the 440 pound half-Hawaiian, half-African guy with … Continue reading

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If you think you want to live forever, try spending a night with my ex-wife. Otherwise, listen to my Mother: Without your health, it all gets too humiliating…

The other night on the phone I teased my 91-year-old mother that she was going to live forever… And so far so good, eh? I could practically hear my mother calculating through her rich, long-ago- premature, silver hair. Finally she … Continue reading

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They pulled a knife on me in the late night shadows. Called me names. Demanded my money…Evil succeeds when good men do nothing. So, I did something. I pulled out my knife…

I must have been daydreaming about the marvelous classic car show I had attended earlier on that sultry last-day of July because I didn’t notice the two young men creep out of the shadows. I don’t know why these abrasive … Continue reading

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If we tattooed our spouses, lawyers, politicians, crooks, criminals and other infidels at least their accomplices couldn’t claim to not know who they were with, or what they were doing

The man seated next to me in the diner unwrapped the blue saran around the territory extending from five inches below his right elbow to an equal distance above. I had curiously asked if he had been injured or had … Continue reading

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