Tag Archives: mother

Mother’s Day can be a torment, especially if your mother’s been dead less than a year… Men are what their mothers made them. And my mother was slightly insane. She told us baked potato skins were bad for us – so she could devour ours. Hmm… I write a mental letter to my mother every day… and apparently so does my brother…

The other night with all the Mother’s Day promotions stuffing my email inbox I sent my brudder-duh-heart-doc in San Francisco a short note. I know, I know… I must be getting old. But I do have my rare moments of … Continue reading

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Hell, this is enough to make me want to put a bar in the back of my car and drive myself to drink. For today I am an orphan. Tomorrow I’ll still be an S-O-B. But today I am going to drink into tomorrow and think about how the best woman I ever knew is now only in my yesterdays…

I immediately knew why my brother-duh-heart-doc was calling from his vacation trip in St. Petersburg, Russia… just as my cousin knew why I was calling her cell phone in the early morning. And why my cousin Bob surprisingly called me … Continue reading

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If you think you want to live forever, try spending a night with my ex-wife. Otherwise, listen to my Mother: Without your health, it all gets too humiliating…

The other night on the phone I teased my 91-year-old mother that she was going to live forever… And so far so good, eh? I could practically hear my mother calculating through her rich, long-ago- premature, silver hair. Finally she … Continue reading

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The secret to life is birthdays: the more you have the longer you live. And my mother has now lived for 91 years. Her secret? Like the weather, there is nothing you can really do about it. Just keep the rust off and don’t expire like something in the refrigerator…

I first met my mother when she was around 30. It was during a February blizzard in the Pennsylvania dirt-road countryside. Due to our country doctor’s miscalculation, I arrived six weeks late. And I’ve been making up that for lost … Continue reading

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Our clowns in Washington bailed out everybody. So who is going to bail us out from them? Hell, whose going to shoot them? It’s time to cut the cake so that everyone thinks he’s got the biggest piece…

Just when I got to thinking that Congress couldn’t possibly do anything dumber, it goes and dumbfounds me…totally redeeming itself. Please correct me if I am wrong – then again, don’t. I really don’t care anymore. But I thought it … Continue reading

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Man may have used his intelligence to invent stupidity, but his body’s natural evolutionary instincts keep him alive in spite of himself. Let’s start with deep water….

My father built the fire pond after his chain saw factory burned down when the fire trucks ran out of water. But he told my mother, a wonderful swimmer, that he built it for her — because she looked like … Continue reading

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