Tag Archives: newspaper

A ‘real patriot’ is the idiot who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. The trouble is that doofus doesn’t pay his fines out-of-pocket, but out of a corporate kitty. Meanwhile, for guys like Frankie the system issues a warrant for his arrest… for a 21-year-old parking ticket!

When I first moved to Philadelphia from North Carolina years back to take a coveted position with a newspaper that no longer exists, my biggest adjustment to big city life was parking tickets. With the first one I actually thought … Continue reading

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At a cocktail party one should drink wisely but not too well, and talk well but not too wisely… Suddenly this gabby, fluffy woman started shrieking and assaulting me. She screeched that I said: ‘Take your clothes off, I listen better…’ Hmm… Could be. Sounds like me.

The way Cherie was vigorously shaking the chrome cocktail container mixing potent icy cosmopolitans you might have thought she made her living as a cabana server instead of a news anchor on local TV. But that was the drink de … Continue reading

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Our clowns in Washington bailed out everybody. So who is going to bail us out from them? Hell, whose going to shoot them? It’s time to cut the cake so that everyone thinks he’s got the biggest piece…

Just when I got to thinking that Congress couldn’t possibly do anything dumber, it goes and dumbfounds me…totally redeeming itself. Please correct me if I am wrong – then again, don’t. I really don’t care anymore. But I thought it … Continue reading

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