Tag Archives: Noah

People who don’t take risks generally make about two big mistakes a year. People who do take risks generally make about two big mistakes a year…Or so I’ve read. Then again, when I woke up this morning my overnight mischief asked me if I slept good. ‘No,’ I said, ‘I made a few mistakes…’

I couldn’t figure out how to operate the high tech washing machine among the plethora of intimidating high tech gadgetry in my new push-button apartment. After years of low-tech Laundromats this gleaming Whirlpool was almost beatific. Looks like something you … Continue reading

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You can’t make a lawyer honest by an act of legislature. You’ve got to work on his conscience. And his lack of conscience is what makes him a lawyer. But if lawyers don’t stop their overpriced nonsense then it will be nonsense that finally stops them… For those who live by the sword are shot by those who don’t…

One time I was utterly dumbfounded at the dreadful advice an old friend and big shot lawyer was offering. I blinked once. Twice.  And then so many times my eyelids were changing channels faster than a TV-remote velcroed to his … Continue reading

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If you think you want to live forever, try spending a night with my ex-wife. Otherwise, listen to my Mother: Without your health, it all gets too humiliating…

The other night on the phone I teased my 91-year-old mother that she was going to live forever… And so far so good, eh? I could practically hear my mother calculating through her rich, long-ago- premature, silver hair. Finally she … Continue reading

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Our clowns in Washington bailed out everybody. So who is going to bail us out from them? Hell, whose going to shoot them? It’s time to cut the cake so that everyone thinks he’s got the biggest piece…

Just when I got to thinking that Congress couldn’t possibly do anything dumber, it goes and dumbfounds me…totally redeeming itself. Please correct me if I am wrong – then again, don’t. I really don’t care anymore. But I thought it … Continue reading

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