Tag Archives: NSA

If a man watches 3 football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. The reason women don’t play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. No one in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. And meanwhile, I am having a breakdown…

Posted on September 20, 2016 by distrunk

I am not absolutely certain, but I think I am having another breakdown… which I am sure doesn’t come as a surprise to any of my exes. Undoubtedly, they figure I broke down years back – especially after I tied … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged America, American Indian, apes, Arizona, Australia, bathroom, Bill, blizzard, boxing, Brazil, Brazilian, Buffalo, burial ground, car racing, Clinton, Colin Kaepernick, Cowboys, Dallas, Edward Snowden, Einstein, football, France, Germany, Grand Canyon, Hillary, Home Security, Januart, Jews, Liberia, Muslim, NCAA, New York, NFL, NSA, Palestinian, prayer, religion, replays, rugby, San Francisco, Sandra Bland, scarecrow, Supreme Court, Trump, Vietnam, war | Leave a comment

The biggest difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for $$$ usually costs a lot less. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of problems. I have a tremendous sex drive – my girl lives 75 miles away. But today’s new rules of sex are driving us all nuts.

Posted on July 3, 2015 by distrunk

You know that look women get when they want to have sex? Me neither… But back in college one evening, sultry, buxom Penny suddenly decided she wanted to wrestle. We were strolling across the deserted soccer field. And for some … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged affirmative consent, agreement, American Law Institute, Arab, Bibles, biology, Blue Balls, catholic, consent agreement, consummation, exercise, feminist, government, intellectual, Intercourse, jeans, laws, love, Methodist, NSA, Patriot Act, penal code, Pennsylvania, ppolice, premarital, rape, seduction, sex, sexual assault, Snoden, soccer, state, TV, USA, Women Against Rape, wrestle | Leave a comment

Since we already know that everybody lies, why do journalists risk their lives to tell us what we already know? Because that’s what we do. And we’d do it even if we weren’t getting paid to tell you that you are stoopid, ignorant and foolish. Because it is so much fun, even after the deadline…

Posted on September 10, 2014 by distrunk

The question being shrilly postured and posed today in the horrendous wake of yet two more journalists being beheaded is: Why do reporters take such risks? And I have a simple answer: Because everybody lies. Everybody. It is almost failsafe … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged 1984, 911, Afghanistan, America, beheading, bernstein, Clinton, correspondents, danger, deadline, Ferguson, Germany, handicap, ISIS, Jaes Foley, journalists, Kerry, lies, New York Times, NFL, NSA, Pentagon Papers, President, reporters, Russia, Snowden, Steven Sotloff, Titanic, truth, turkey, TV, USA Today, Woodward | Leave a comment

Lawyers are the first refuge of the incompetent. And misery is the company of lawsuits. And a lawsuit ain’t nuttin’ but a slaughterhouse where you go in as a pig and come out of as a sausage. And now we have the FCC keeping net neutrality for only the rich who can drive in the fast lanes with their lawyers…

Posted on May 22, 2014 by distrunk

Uh-oh… Frankie was starting to make sense — again. Even the arch conservative, always-in-black Louie-duh-lawyer was conceding that he was glad he didn’t have to face Frank in court. You know: If you’ll be frank I’ll be glad — to … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged 3-D printing, America, AT&T, bar, bench, capitalism, casino, Comcast, communism, download, Eastern Europe, FCC, fingerprints, free market, Germany, Hitler, Internet Service Provider, ISP, judge, lawyers, legislature, Lenin, licensing agreements, Marx, net neutrality, NSA, Orwellian, Patriot Act, Philadelphia, prosecutors, Russia, South Philadelphia, TV, Twin Smoke Shoppe, U.S. Minty, Verion | Leave a comment

It’s better to be Jewish than gay because when you’re Jewish you don’t have to tell your mother. Racism is so stupid when there are so many more reasons to dislike people on an individual basis. Hmm… I thought racism was when you hated ‘others’ more than you are supposed to…

Posted on May 1, 2014 by distrunk

I must be a racist — even if the word racist is like ketchup these days. It can be put on practically anything. Heck, as that leggy, blonde neo-con once wrote: If only Al Sharpton were around, Lincoln would have … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Adam Silver, African, Al Sharpton, Alabama, America, anti-Semitic, Asian, Baptist, bill C, black, Charles Barkley, Chinese, Christianity, cigar, Civil rights, Donald Sterling, Dreyfus, Einstein, European, France, French, Freud, gay, Great Depression, Haiti, Howard Stern, Indian, Irish, Irving Berlin, Islam, Italian, Ivory Coast, Jamaican, Jesse Jackson, Jesus, Jew, Jewish, Judaism, Lebanese, Lenny Bruce, Lincoln, linton, Maarge Schott, Madoff, Magic Johnson, Mary, Mel Brooks, Mexican, Michael Jordan, Moby Dick, Muslims, nazi, NBA, New York City, Newsweek, NSA, Pakistani, pope, President, Puerto Rico, racism, racist, Russian, South Philadelphia, Southeast Asian, Spinoza, Steinbrenner, V.Stiviano, viagra, West Africa, West Philadelphia | Leave a comment

Democracy is the process where we choose the person who will get the blame…like Snowden. And I blame my Big Mama for my poor sex life. All she told me is that the man goes on top and the woman goes underneath. For years a future ex-wife and I slept in bunk beds…

Posted on December 18, 2013 by distrunk

So, who can I blame for having so many exes? I guess I should have learned more from watching the farm animals, as well as listening to Edward Snowden. Hmm…. Anyway, blame is for G-d and small children. After all, … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged America, bible, Blame, Congressional Medal of Honor, Dolly Parton, Edward Snowden, expunged, FISC, Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court, George Orwell, Guantanamo, Judge Richard Leon, lies, lottery, Mega lottery, Monica, National Security Agency, nightmares, Nobel Prize, NSA, Obama, Patriot Act, Pentagon Papers, Purple Heart, Russia, Supreme Court, U.S., USA, Walt Disney, Watergate, weapons of mass destruction, White House, WikiLeaks | Leave a comment

I am afraid we must make the world honest before we can honestly say to our children that honesty is the best policy… The surest way to remain poor is to be an honest man. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest…

Posted on October 30, 2013 by distrunk

A blind friend recently told me — only half jokingly — that he has never seen an honest man. Hmm… Come to think of it, neither have I. At least not one I could trust. And the trouble is you … Continue reading →

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Afghanistan, America, Blackwater, Dick Cheney, dishonesty, Edward Snowden, George Washington, Halliburton, honest man, Iraq, NSA, politician, Vice President, Weekly Reader | Leave a comment

Tag Archives: NSA

It’s better to be Jewish than gay because when you’re Jewish you don’t have to tell your mother. Racism is so stupid when there are so many more reasons to dislike people on an individual basis. Hmm… I thought racism was when you hated ‘others’ more than you are supposed to…

Democracy is the process where we choose the person who will get the blame…like Snowden. And I blame my Big Mama for my poor sex life. All she told me is that the man goes on top and the woman goes underneath. For years a future ex-wife and I slept in bunk beds…

I am afraid we must make the world honest before we can honestly say to our children that honesty is the best policy… The surest way to remain poor is to be an honest man. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest…

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