Tag Archives: Paris

Do you think the historic climate change agreement adopted in Paris is going to save us from ISIS? Sometimes I wish that I was the weather, you’d bring me up in conversation forever. And when it snowed, I’d be the talk of the day…

Sooo…. This talkative, buxom, middle-aged woman seated next to me at the banquet table just reached over and started fondling the butterfly and cock-fighting pins I regularly garnish on my chest. She took her time examining, fingering each of the … Continue reading

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It’s impossible to get a conversation going these days. Everybody talks too much… and says too little. The Paris climate talks were a waste of oxygen. Everybody’s accusing The Donald of using up all the oxygen in the room. And meanwhile we have yet to deprive the ‘terrorists’ of their oxygen. It’s time to take a breather – grab your oxygen masks…

Back long before puberty and even a few years before I began dousing my breakfast coffee with bourbon I used to listen as the morning news reports interrupted the popular music playing on our small town local radio station. And … Continue reading

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America is a country where ‘In G-d we trust’… All others must pay cash. There are many Catholics, Protestants and Jews in our enormous jail gulags for murder, yet we don’t fear their religion, like we do Muslims. And I have found in my global sojourns that most people just want to live in peace under blue skies and white clouds… surrounded by family.

The poetic irony in the argument across the street got us all laughing. We were blowing cigar smoke at The Twin Smoke Shoppe in the once mostly Italian immigrant neighborhood of South Philadelphia. And suddenly a couple of fellows – … Continue reading

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I’ve got to start watching more porno. I mean, unlike life, everybody seems to be enjoying themselves – no matter how they’re getting f-ked. And meanwhile I think I’ve figured out why jihad ‘martyrs’ want virgins in heaven…

I have always wondered why Muslim jihadist ‘martyrs’ desperately want 72 virgins as part of their reward in heaven. And now in the wake of their savage Paris slaughter of journalists and others at the Charlie Hebdo satirical magazine I … Continue reading

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When I was a kid I used to pray for a new bicycle. Then I realized the Lord doesn’t work that way. So I stole one and asked Him to forgive me. Hmm… Every time I see an adult on a bicycle I no longer despair for the future of the human race. Life is like a 10-speeder — most of us have gears we never use…

During one of my recent post midnight cigar strolls about Philadelphia I came upon two street punks. Night-preyers. They were ‘break’ dancing rather poorly – stomping, kicking and swinging at a tall, good-looking fellow of about 30. Apparently they were … Continue reading

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She professed her love in ‘lavender and perfumed’ e-mails. Then she wanted money…Gee, she sounded just like my exes. Only she won’t go away…Hmm…Come to think of it: Neither would my exes…

I am still receiving e-mails and instant messages professing her love and adoration — as well as seeking ‘bail’ money. They are from a woman who had previously been writing me very affectionate love letters and planning for our future. … Continue reading

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As children we recited: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names can never hurt me… So what happened? We stopped laughing at ourselves. And then we stopped the conversation because someone hurt our feelings? Where is Archie Bunker when you need him…

Some years back a police chief in a northern-Philadelphia, white-belted suburb happened to tell me that whenever they ‘discover’ that a stranger in their midst is from Kensington — a rough-tough former Irish and other ham-fisted, out-of-sorts Philly neighborhood of … Continue reading

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