Tag Archives: Patriot Act

Does it seem like killing our children is getting to be like ‘adult entertainment?’ But what-duh-hell-what-duh-heck hang ‘em up by the neck. That’s why I hate vegetarians – they won’t eat anything that can have children. Hmm… come to think of it, we adults ain’t nothing but outdated children…

They’re starving the children to skin and bones in Darfur. They’re burning the children in Nigeria. They’re raping the children in churches everywhere. They’re depriving the children of most everything that used to be affordable in Venezuela… Brazil… Argentina… They’re … Continue reading

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The biggest difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for $$$ usually costs a lot less. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of problems. I have a tremendous sex drive – my girl lives 75 miles away. But today’s new rules of sex are driving us all nuts.

You know that look women get when they want to have sex? Me neither… But back in college one evening, sultry, buxom Penny suddenly decided she wanted to wrestle. We were strolling across the deserted soccer field. And for some … Continue reading

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Opinions must be able to change. Today’s Post Traumatic Stress was yesterday’s ‘Lack of Moral Fiber.’ Yesterday POW Sgt. Bergdahl became today’s latest victim of the Afghan war. We blame him. We want to punish him. But I want to first shoot so many others who knew what they were doing…

I’ve never quite understood people who seek to be ‘dominated’ sexually. Or submit to other manners of rough sex that doesn’t hold back. Then again I’ve never understood why I’ve always endeavored to risk my life on grand adventures from … Continue reading

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As long as enough people can be frightened, then all people can be ruled. Fear becomes the ticket to destroy our rights. We fear things in proportion to our ignorance of them. And panic kills. And staying in a state of fear about Ebola leads to panic. In the end Luca’s fears caused him to eat himself to death…

I spotted Luca’s gigantic mitt of stubby fingers reaching out to snatch the plate of tastykake crumpets, one of the grandest junk-food sweet cakes on the planet. And immediately I quick-stepped across the small room of cigar smokers… and punched … Continue reading

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Lawyers are the first refuge of the incompetent. And misery is the company of lawsuits. And a lawsuit ain’t nuttin’ but a slaughterhouse where you go in as a pig and come out of as a sausage. And now we have the FCC keeping net neutrality for only the rich who can drive in the fast lanes with their lawyers…

Uh-oh… Frankie was starting to make sense — again. Even the arch conservative, always-in-black Louie-duh-lawyer was conceding that he was glad he didn’t have to face Frank in court. You know: If you’ll be frank I’ll be glad — to … Continue reading

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Democracy is the process where we choose the person who will get the blame…like Snowden. And I blame my Big Mama for my poor sex life. All she told me is that the man goes on top and the woman goes underneath. For years a future ex-wife and I slept in bunk beds…

So, who can I blame for having so many exes? I guess I should have learned more from watching the farm animals, as well as listening to Edward Snowden. Hmm…. Anyway, blame is for G-d and small children. After all, … Continue reading

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I cry for Boston. Just like I’ve cried each terrible time we’ve lost a piece of our innocence. But my tears will turn to outraged jeers if Big Brother government afflicts our freedoms with any more encumbrances! We are here to Live Free or Die: For Death is not the worst of evils!

I didn’t first lose my young innocence in that whorehouse in Venezuela. And I didn’t lose it the other day with the bombings and cowardly killings at the Boston Marathon. I think my innocence began ebbing long before both. That … Continue reading

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