Tag Archives: Pennsylvania

Why do I need a prescription to get stuff that will make me healthy, but I don’t need any sort of permission for stuff that will kill me? Hmm… When religion was strong and science weak, men mistook magic for medicine; now, we mistake medicine for magic. Yet, medicine has its dark side – like death…

Unless you get lost from time to time you can never find yourself. And the other day I got ‘lost’ while biking in an unfamiliar part of the city. And I finally found myself at a Rite Aid pharmacy… with … Continue reading

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I make mistakes. I say stupid things. I do idiotic things. And, quite frankly, I’m proud of them… mostly. Why not make mistakes? The worst that can happen is you become memorable. And while apologies don’t feed the admiral’s dog, I apologize when I’m wrong… mostly… and so did my brother…

I remember the one and only time my big brother ever apologized to me. And that was 45 years ago. I had taken a wrong turn out of Washington, D.C. early on a Monday morning. And thereby I was nearly … Continue reading

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Hell, this is enough to make me want to put a bar in the back of my car and drive myself to drink. For today I am an orphan. Tomorrow I’ll still be an S-O-B. But today I am going to drink into tomorrow and think about how the best woman I ever knew is now only in my yesterdays…

I immediately knew why my brother-duh-heart-doc was calling from his vacation trip in St. Petersburg, Russia… just as my cousin knew why I was calling her cell phone in the early morning. And why my cousin Bob surprisingly called me … Continue reading

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An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises. And promises are like crying babies in a theater: They should be carried out at once. For today is the tomorrow we weren’t promised yesterday. And if you don’t perform and vote I promise to whup you…

I don’t ever recall my dear ol’ bourbon sippin’ Pappy telling me, just before he issued one of his many belt ‘whuppings,’ that ‘this is going to hurt me a whole lot worse than it’s going to hurt you.’ Uh-uh. … Continue reading

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There are two things people want more than sex and money — recognition and praise. That’s why everybody’s running for President. However, if you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughed, was it a joke? And that’s why I’m voting for the Donald…

During the last few days I was reading some newspaper stories that reminded me that life is pretty funny when you realize how absurd it can be. Like, about the guy from Pennsylvania seeking to have sex with a horse … Continue reading

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The biggest difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for $$$ usually costs a lot less. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of problems. I have a tremendous sex drive – my girl lives 75 miles away. But today’s new rules of sex are driving us all nuts.

You know that look women get when they want to have sex? Me neither… But back in college one evening, sultry, buxom Penny suddenly decided she wanted to wrestle. We were strolling across the deserted soccer field. And for some … Continue reading

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Ours is a government of checks and balances — the crooked businessmen make out checks, and the politicians and other compromised officials improve their bank balances. Hmm… What this country needs is more unemployed politicians. Or perhaps more deaths by firing squads…

In the 40 year old movie Chinatown the crusty evil character (played by the celebrated director John Huston) who robbed and pillaged and murdered his way to fortune — not to mention fathered another daughter by raping his own daughter … Continue reading

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Obstacles to job creation in America are a result of policy, not of motivation. Small business owners are fighting every day to create and innovate, but continue to face government barriers. And next week we are voting for our government. And that got me to thinking about the time dear ol’ Pappy ran for governor… And my policy — to always vote against…

Some 40 years ago my father — a farmer, manufacturer and political provocateur — walked out of a taproom tucked in a country dale by the Brandywine River, not far from the eponymous revolutionary battle site in our war of … Continue reading

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My 94-year-old Mother and I had a heart to bad heart talk over the holidays. And she still thinks I’m an SOB. And I couldn’t agree more…

My 94-year-old mother had a heart attack for the holiday season. And I got blamed for it. I mean I usually am held responsible for stuff like that. I would say it’s because I am Jewish. But then again, I … Continue reading

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I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of people — that’s why I don’t like most of them. I like to call everyone I find more than a tad annoying a sociopath. And when you have an alleged sociopath adjudging on a State Supreme Court then Justice is to be found only in the imagination…

Hmm… As an incipient young journalist when I walked into a courtroom I felt like I was walking into a cathedral. But it didn’t take long to disavow any such notion. And to realize it was more like walking into … Continue reading

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