Tag Archives: politician

We all love a great party. But afterwards we are still stuck with cleaning up the mess. Just like the GOP and Democrats, and now the Olympics, have been throwing us some grand par-tees! But tomorrow we’re still stuck with yesterday’s mess. Think about that when you cast your ballots in November…

When I was a columnist in North Carolina every New Year’s Eve I would throw a par-tee! My house and back yard became known far and wide for this and a spring bash. Sex, drugs and rock and roll. Food, … Continue reading

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There are two things people want more than sex and money — recognition and praise. That’s why everybody’s running for President. However, if you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughed, was it a joke? And that’s why I’m voting for the Donald…

During the last few days I was reading some newspaper stories that reminded me that life is pretty funny when you realize how absurd it can be. Like, about the guy from Pennsylvania seeking to have sex with a horse … Continue reading

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Ours is a government of checks and balances — the crooked businessmen make out checks, and the politicians and other compromised officials improve their bank balances. Hmm… What this country needs is more unemployed politicians. Or perhaps more deaths by firing squads…

In the 40 year old movie Chinatown the crusty evil character (played by the celebrated director John Huston) who robbed and pillaged and murdered his way to fortune — not to mention fathered another daughter by raping his own daughter … Continue reading

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Obstacles to job creation in America are a result of policy, not of motivation. Small business owners are fighting every day to create and innovate, but continue to face government barriers. And next week we are voting for our government. And that got me to thinking about the time dear ol’ Pappy ran for governor… And my policy — to always vote against…

Some 40 years ago my father — a farmer, manufacturer and political provocateur — walked out of a taproom tucked in a country dale by the Brandywine River, not far from the eponymous revolutionary battle site in our war of … Continue reading

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You don’t learn to walk by following the rules. And if you obey all the rules you miss all the fun. But rules exist in every culture in history. Even those governing defecation. After all what is toilet training if not the first attempt to turn a child into an acceptable member of society?

A few years back, while watching the Philadelphia Phillies in the October baseball playoffs with some old college chums, we got to conversing with a group of younger women at the bar. And it turned out they had graduated from … Continue reading

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I am afraid we must make the world honest before we can honestly say to our children that honesty is the best policy… The surest way to remain poor is to be an honest man. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest…

A blind friend recently told me — only half jokingly — that he has never seen an honest man. Hmm… Come to think of it, neither have I. At least not one I could trust. And the trouble is you … Continue reading

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If you think you want to live forever, try spending a night with my ex-wife. Otherwise, listen to my Mother: Without your health, it all gets too humiliating…

The other night on the phone I teased my 91-year-old mother that she was going to live forever… And so far so good, eh? I could practically hear my mother calculating through her rich, long-ago- premature, silver hair. Finally she … Continue reading

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