Tag Archives: Republicans

There are two things people want more than sex and money — recognition and praise. That’s why everybody’s running for President. However, if you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughed, was it a joke? And that’s why I’m voting for the Donald…

During the last few days I was reading some newspaper stories that reminded me that life is pretty funny when you realize how absurd it can be. Like, about the guy from Pennsylvania seeking to have sex with a horse … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ours is a government of checks and balances — the crooked businessmen make out checks, and the politicians and other compromised officials improve their bank balances. Hmm… What this country needs is more unemployed politicians. Or perhaps more deaths by firing squads…

In the 40 year old movie Chinatown the crusty evil character (played by the celebrated director John Huston) who robbed and pillaged and murdered his way to fortune — not to mention fathered another daughter by raping his own daughter … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I’ve got to start watching more porno. I mean, unlike life, everybody seems to be enjoying themselves – no matter how they’re getting f-ked. And meanwhile I think I’ve figured out why jihad ‘martyrs’ want virgins in heaven…

I have always wondered why Muslim jihadist ‘martyrs’ desperately want 72 virgins as part of their reward in heaven. And now in the wake of their savage Paris slaughter of journalists and others at the Charlie Hebdo satirical magazine I … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it. Stress wilts everything, including my testosterone — which is so low I am practically transgendered. If Republicans have something better than Obamacare then put it out there. Otherwise our present health system is bloody damn horrendous….

During a physical my doc pushed his tortoise shell spectacles high on his expanding forehead, exhaled in that weary professional demeanor, and, while tapping  my medical file on his crossed knees, wondered if I was having any exacerbating problems? Hmm… … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I am on my fourth dental student since July. And I still haven’t even had my teeth cleaned yet. But I have gotten blamed for the last mishap. I thank Jesus for both of us being Jewish…I mean I’m used to being blamed…

It’s not just because I am Jewish, but I am used to being blamed for most everything. I can’t even pass by a sobbing woman without feeling responsible. I mean, after all, Jewish mothers invented guilt. Like Mary, who constantly … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

I often seem to confuse the ritual of baptism with waterboarding. I do know that one of them ‘absolutely’ gets the truth out of you… Meanwhile, back in the Sea of Galilee some American congressmen were swimming naked….

I’m glad I am a man who once danced naked with a woman in the Mediterranean Sea at midnight. We were inebriated by all those magical potions indulgent lovers embrace under candlelit stars. And to this very day, even with … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Stop the world – I wanna get off! I’m not crazy enough. But as those two young men who tried to steal my cell phone discovered: I’m still working overtime on it…

It’s 10 years since I went out of my mind – I’ll never go back. And you wonder why? Well…consider this stuff in the category of: You can never be too crazy, but you can be too sane. The other … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment